Dysphoria [q.k + trans!male!reader!]

092

(^this song has no connection to the book I just like it)

Most had gone to bed before the clock had stuck three, the only people left being the dreamies and a few wayv members(Kun and yangyang).

"Y/n I gotta go now, I promised Dejun he could sleep in my bed with me tonight." Yangyang mumbled, a small tug on my shirt making it obvious he was too embarrassed for anyone else to hear.

"Yeah go ahead, see you tomorrow my love." I waved him off, sending him a teasing look as he left through the door.

It had gotten a lot quieter now, small conversations here and there as the people tried to not doze off. Chenle failing hours ago before Jisung posted that ig post of him passed out in his bed.

"Renjun you're gonna knock yourself out if your head keeps dropping so fast." I chuckle, suggesting for my best friend to head to bed before he really does hurt himself.

"Carry me." He pouted, making grabbing hands for me. I giggle again, going to pick him up but someone beat me to it.

"I'm faster." Jeno stuck his tongue out, carrying a now snoring Renjun bridal style as he waddled off to put him to bed.

That left five other people in the room, well four awake as Donghyuck just now threw himself in Mark's lap before letting out snores himself. "What the fuck." Mark groaned, scared to push the younger off as he did not want to face a grumpy Haechan right now.

"You guys are lame, everyone's just falling asleep. Come on Jisungie we're gonna go cuddle." Jaemin declared, standing up in his seat before dragging the youngest to their shared room.

That left Kun, Mark and I awake in the room. Kun side eyeing me and mouthing something along the lines of "talk to him" before standing up to announce his departure. "Well, I'll be off to bed too then, remembering our date tomorrow y/n. Don't miss it."

Mark's eyes filled with fear immediately after Kun left the Dream dorm. He looked as though he was ready to run off to bed if it wasn't for to Haechan's sleeping body keeping him in place.

"Mark..." I called nervously. "Let's talk... please..."

Mark froze, hesitant to speak. He shook his head, not trusting his voice at the moment.

"You said you wanted to, I hate how tensed things were between us today." I tried convincing him, eyes stuck on Mark's hand that was combing through Donghyuck's hair to avoid his eye contact.

"I feel bad... I didn't know how hurtful my words were when I spoke..."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused, begging for this to just be resolved quickly so things can be normal again.

Mark took a shaky breath. "On weekly idol... w-when we were doing the baby photo challenge."

Oh....

That's what he's talking about.

"Do you mean when you said I looked like a girl?" I questioned just to confirm the situation.

Mark nodded softly, bitting his lip before looking down. "I'm sorry... it was stupid of me to of said that. Boys can have long hair, and I'm well aware you are a boy. But I was watching the episode, because it came out while you were at the hospital, and I noticed the way your face fell slightly at my comment and- fuck... I'm so sorry..."

"Mark it's fine. It was just supposed to be harmless joke and it's not like you could of known, I was more upset to actually see the baby photo than I was of your comment." I reassured. "I have dysphoria, yeah... it's not going away and there's nothing you or I can do, but I'm thankful you apologized, it lets me know you care... just don't beat yourself up about it okay, it was just an accident and I'm not even upset about it."

Mark stayed quiet, I stayed quiet. It stayed that way for a few minutes before I spoke up again. "I love you Mark... your one of my best friends so next time you feel bad about something tell me right away so we don't have to be so awkward around each other." I chuckle softly in hopes of lightening the mood.

"M'Kay, of course... love you too y/n." Mark smiled back.

"Now can you help me get this asshole off so I can go to sleep before I pass out on the couch."

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Oh my god... so many people have read the new chapters even after this book being on hold for like three months—

Also absolutely spam my comments please, I wanna know what you guys think about every small detail cause it makes me happy😃