Save your tears (Rosé x G!P Reader )

20: Borrowing(M)

XX.

[TW: mentions of eating disorders]

"It's true, Lisa! Don't lie to me, I know what I see when I look at myself in the mirror."Rosé spat out in desperation, tears spilling from her cheeks.

Lisa's sadness and worry for her friend rose as minutes went by.

Rosé had seemed out of the loop ever since the Blackpink members had attended Sunmi's after-party a week ago, but Lisa didn't know it would get that bad.

She should've seen it coming really.

The short liveless answers Rosé gave out in interviews, the late nights staying at YG Entertainment's building to avoid sleep, or confronting one of her friends.

It was now crystal clear in Lisa's eyes.

And she knew she couldn't, didn't have a say in all this, but she felt horrible for her best friend and bandmate.

After coming home late from a dinner with her Thai friends, Lisa had found Chaeyoung in a full-blown panic attack in her and Jisoo's shared bathroom, Jisoo and Jennie nowhere in sight, but Lisa didn't care to ask or question.
She figured Jennie was doing whatever, and that Jisoo was hanging out with one of their friends. Not that Lisa cared what Jennie was doing now, anyways.

"Chaeyoung..."Lisa sighed as she knelt next to her friend who was still sitting on the bathroom floor, head on her knees, cheeks wet from crying.
At least she had started breathing normally again.

Somewhat normally.

"What you see in the mirror...I know you feel bad, but that's not the truth. Your perception of things is... biased, sweetie."Lisa tried to reason with her blonde friend, who just shook her head again, making Lisa hold in a sigh of helplessness.

"Even Y/N doesn't want me anymore," Rosé started crying again, mouth wide open, unbothered to look like the mess she was, sniffling hard and sobbing in between words, "she likes Joy better, and I can't even blame her after all the shit I've put her through."She laughed humorlessly, wiping a tear even though it was no use because another came.

"Rosie that's..."Lisa started, putting her hand on her friend's shaking shoulder as softly as she could.

"How do you want anyone to like me, let alone my music, or find me good enough, talented enough, pretty enough?"Chaeyoung said again in a strangled cry, hiding her head in her knees as sobs shook her entire body.

Lisa sighed and felt a sharp tug at her chest, specifically her heart area.

Chaeyoung had always been the most sensitive out of all the four Blackpink girls. Where Jennie Jisoo or Lisa could shrug off some of Yang's past remarks, about their lacks, their faces, the languages they needed to speak, their performances, rankings, or even their weights, Chaeyoung couldn't.

Lisa had told herself that after some time, a few years after debuting, it would slowly go away. That Chaeyoung would learn to dissociate the critics that were made to her, from who she really was and what she actually needed to take away from those, to focus on.

It didn't go away.
If anything, where Rosé could take confidence in her singing, dancing, or instrument abilities, it made her focus even more on the other aspects she was so attacked on.

They became even bigger insecurities.
During the year Rosé shared with Y/N in her life, Lisa noticed her physical insecurities had seemed to go on hiatus, no pun intended.

But as soon as the realization of their very sudden and very harsh break-up entered Chaeyoung's brain, she was a goner.

Going to the hairdresser so regularly, Lisa wondered if she tried to make everyone believe she was and had always been a natural blonde, just to make her forget the years she wasn't, the way she had been when she was still with Y/N.