Save your tears (Rosé x G!P Reader )

29: A rose by any other name

XXIX.

"So how are you managing?"Loren asked, grabbing his skateboard with both hands as he and Y/N walked around the empty parking lot.
He chuckled at his own sentence while putting a strand of pink hair behind his ear.
"Literally, I guess."
Y/N rolled her eyes but couldn't help but smile.
"I'm okay."She replied.
"Not tired of still living with dad's punishment?"He asked with a more serious look.
He was wearing a sleeveless white tee and a sleeveless jean jacket.
His jeans were blue and his white converse worn. He sat on the edge of the concrete bit that usually separated the parking spots, when there were actual cars.
Managing to look so worn out with so much money was a talent Loren seemed to own, contrary to Y/N.
With one hand, he put a cigarette in between his lips, and searched his pockets for the lighter.
"Don't know. Haven't had time to think much about it lately.
-Bet it sucked at first.
-Sometimes."Y/N answered truthfully, knowing well enough Seungjoo couldn't begin to understand how complicated their dad had indirectly made her life .
He finally found his lighter and used it to burn the edge of the cigarette. He inhaled deeply and looked ahead.
They were in an abandoned parking lot on the edge of Seoul. Apparently, there used to be a mall near there, but it got closed years ago. They had often met there because of the memories they had of going there as teens with Loren's mom, sometimes their dad too.
Now that Loren was in the public eye, it seemed even more adequate to pick such a deserted and far away place.
"You? How has Teddy been treating you?"Y/N asked.
He raised his shoulders in indifference.
"Some good, some bad."He said nonchalantly. "More stress than d-jing by myself for a club, or producing only for Black Label. A lot of pressure comes from being perceived in the public eye."He admitted, turning to look at his step-sibling who nodded.
"But the people are okay. Teddy's crazy good, met some other good people over the years there anyways. Blackpink girls are super chill as well."
Oh right, Y/N had a feeling he had heard one of the girls talk about him back in the days.
"Oh yeah?"She asked, sitting down next to him.
He handed him his cigarette but she shook her head no, and he crushed the butt on the ground.
The sun was setting and Y/N could see the smoke slowly fading out in the dim light.

Eventually, Y/N admitted to having fucked up her time at YG Entertainment, when her step-brother remarked she had worked with the same people he did, more or less.
A minute of silence passed.
He conceded Y/N's revelation made a lot of sense in hindsight, leaving her to wonder what that could possibly mean.
He added her reaction to him even mentioning the girl band had been suspicious anyways. Not reacting after hearing the names of your ex-coworkers?
Weird. Especially considering the status of said ex-coworkers.

"So that's why you switched up."He said pensively.
Y/N already started questioning whether or not she should have held her tongue.
Her step-brother could be trustworthy, but he could also crack under the desire to make their father proud if HE ever came to ask Loren what Y/N had been up to.
"I won't say anything to dad, relax."He suddenly said as if reading her mind, and she sighed in relief, and in frustration at herself.
Everytime she had to say out loud what her life had turned out to be, she became more and more anxious and stressed out about her life decisions.
"Sometimes I think you should've just done like me."Loren said looking at her step-sister who frowned.
Before she could ask why he would suggest such a thing, he remarked if she had been, was, whatever, dating an idol she might have as well be one as well, since she would have to confront the industry anyways.
The thought made Y/N squeamish, she would much rather have eaten her own vomit with a coffee spoon than to do just what Loren had suggested.
"That's like telling me I should be a carpenter because I'm dating one, Seungjoo."She added with a scoff.
He laughed sincerely, causing his sibling to end up laughing as well with him at the mental image.
"Yeah, maybe."He admitted.
A more serious look to his step-sister.
Y/N only found gentleness in the way he cared for her, often she wondered why she felt like she was the only one to see that softness inside of her step-brother.
She was curious to know if people saw her the same way they viewed Seungjoo.
"Still, is it going okay now?" He inquired.
She sighed, suddenly her mind went blank and her throat sore like it would hurt to speak truthfully.
She opened her mouth, she wondered if the darkness that had overcome her at the moment, had at any previous time transpired in Roseanne's actions.
She wondered if Loren, as the idol's coworker, had sensed that darkness.
Lord knew Y/N hadn't when they had first met.
"I see." Is all that Seungjoo said with a sorry smile. "I can't say I'm surprised,"He remarked,"these things very rarely end well."
She knew he was right and that he meant well when she felt his hand on her shoulder, reassuring her.
But she scoffed anyway.
"Yeah I know, thanks a lot."
He eyed her silently until she looked away, silently having admitted to acting like a jerk.
"You're also not picking the easiest choice.
-Meaning?
-You know what I mean. These girls are basically super-soldiers, nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. Heck, I barely do and I've produced tracks with Teddy for years now. Plus no offense to them but the fear of sudden disbandment can't help their adrenaline rush. Remember how they did that to 2NE1?"
Y/N wasn't sure why she had never opened up to Seungjoo about that sooner.
Maybe if she had had another insight than her own and her other idol friends...
"And you've dated what, a year? I'm sorry Y/N,"he sighed realizing his words were harsh,"but I don't think you even really know her that way." He finished a little softer.
Y/N could only look down. She looked at the time.
"Don't be sorry, you're right."She admitted.
Even Seungjoo seemed surprised by his own ability to see clearly, and his face showed disbelief for a second.
"You said you think she's seeing someone else now?"He asked.
He scoffed, she knew he was rightfully getting mad at someone who hurt her .
But somehow Y/N only shrugged.
"Yeah. Now, before, tomorrow, I don't know."
Loren's eyes bulged out of his skull.
"You think it's not a one time thing?"
When Y/N shook her head silently, not answering clearly, he ran his fingers through his hair anxiously.
"I don't see where you're getting at bro.
-I mean I don't know." She clarified. "I think... I realized I don't know, actually, if this was the first time she went to someone else, if she did anything like that when we were together, if she's going to do it someday else. I don't even know if it matters since we weren't together I guess... I...I have to figure my feelings out."
Loren opened his pack of cigarettes again.
This time he took out a satchel of weed out of his jean pocket, Y/N stared.
"So you... don't give a shit? I mean..."
He offered the joint he had rolled while talking but Y/N shook her head no.
She wondered how many times he had offered her ex-girlfriend, how many times she had said yes.
"No I mean I just..."
Y/N took in a deep breath.
Sometimes feeling emotions to the fullest could be the most painful thing to do.
Her eyes burned as the words died in her mouth a first time.
"I don't know her, you're right." The words came out again, and her exhale was a painful confession of weakness.
Loren exhaled at the same time, like words weren't needed when they knew each other so well that their bodies acted in synchronisation.
His exhale smelled like weed, it reeked of compassion.
Y/N appreciated it but hated seeing the truth.
"It's rough." Is all he said and Y/N couldn't answer.
They knew there was nothing more to be said.
"We should meet again soon."He switched the subject. "Dad told me he wants to see us and I want to teach you how to skate properly before he whoops our asses."
Y/N chuckled and Seungjoo broke his fake seriousness too. This was how they were best.
Maybe things could be good sometimes, Y/N figured.
Sometimes.