tough love - jaemin

36

Jaemin's smile falls slightly. he moved his closest arm to her and placed it around her waist. She didn't do anything, just stayed frozen in thought as her legs swing back and forth on the edge of the bed, close to the floor. her breathing hitching as the memory of the traumatic scene. sungho falling back with a gunshot through his head, lifelessly laying on the ground.

"if you want too, lay down."
Jaemin said, his thumb caressing her waist. he was a little stunned when seohyun immediately laid down next to him. Their bodies close together as she rested her head on his arm.

"Seohyun, I'm sorry I never told you.."
silence filled the room, yet it felt unreasonably comfortable ; for Seohyun at at-least. they just laid there while Jaemin felt overwhelming guilt running through his body.

if only I stayed by her side. if only I stayed at the hospital. if only I refused to join back. If only I took greater care of her. If only I told her the truth. if only —

the endless if only 's ran through his mind like a carousel. His emotions building up as his heart beat started increasing. He felt it pounding in his chest and his lips started to quiver unknowingly.

"I'm really s-sorry.."

at last his emotions broke through the surface. his sniffles came out as his breathing become rough and heavy. Seohyun turns onto her side, lifting her head taking a better look at him.

This was the exact moment he realised he fell deep into the world of love. he feel deep in love with her.

tears streamed down his face as he had little no sound sound escaping through his mouth. his lips shaking as he squeezed his eyes shut, feeling as if it was best to not see her blank expression.

"I'm.."
he sniffs in heavily, his breath only shaking as he did so. the tears never stopping as they escaped his eyes faster.

"I'm so sorry"
his voice breaking as he muttered those words out. the tears were a mix of physical pain catching up to him and emotional pain ; guilt and heart break.

"I'm sorry..."
he whispers as he tilts his head towards her, whispering lowly into her ear.
"I'm so so sorry.."

his words coming out barely understandable through his messy breathing and sobs, as his weeping soon became heavy sobbing. His tears streaming steadily down his face as sat up, wiping his tears off his face onto his wrist.

"Jaemin.."
Jaemin opens his eyes to see seohyun in front of him. her eyes watery as small tear drops fell down her cheeks. that was the only form of emotion across her face, other wise she was still emotionless and dull.

"please don't cry."
she says as she lifts herself back up, sitting up right next to him. Jaemin instantly wraps his arms around her, his face resting on her shoulder as he cries heavier.

his intense sobbing became louder as Seohyun wrapped her bandages arms around him, pulling him close to her as she too, rested her face on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you.. if only I protected you better-"

"don't say such a thing Jaemin. non of this is.. exactly your fault. it's just because you are in a mafia group. that's all, right?"

Jaemin chews on his bottom lip, trying to stop the loud sobs escaping his mouth. He closes his eyes, squeezing them shut as he hated this numb feeling. He opens his eyes trying to stop himself from growing tired. his tears didn't dry up, instead just slowed down and fell down his cheek slower and less often.

"please.."
He whimpers out as he opens his eyes and pulls away from her a bit, looking deep into her watery eyes as she stared into his.

"please don't leave me.."

Seohyun looked away from his depressing face. The tears streamed down his face as he begged for her understanding using his eyes. Seohyun instead looked around the room. it was a nice, clean room - her thoughts couldn't stay focused on that, they only returned back to Jaemin within seconds.

"Jaemin, it's not a good thing for me to be involved with the mafia. you saw yourself.. I.."

Jaemin's sobs cut her off, she looked back at his face that only spoke pain. she stared into his tear filled eyes, with her almost burning blank expression.

"I want to move away."

his heart shattered into a million pieces with just those five words. her felt himself growing more hurt and feeling the emotional pain within him sinking deep.

"n-no.."
he begged. as pathetic as he felt for this, he couldn't lose her. she was promptly the best thing in his life, he loved her with his whole heart. it would only break him if she left.

"I can't stay here"
she tore her eyes away from his, staring at his wounded thigh.

"I'll protect y-you-"

"Jaemin don't make this hard for me. please let me leave when it comes time."

Jaemin laid on the bed in the infirmary. his heart already shattered into millions of pieces. he felt tired, his body ached only making his pain worse.

his tears fell dry and he didn't feel moving at all ; not like he could. His energy went to the only thing he felt like doing, curling up in a ball, knees to his head and his would hide his face ignoring the almost unbearable pain in his thigh, and letting his tears fall. but he couldn't even do that, his tears wouldn't fall anymore.

Seohyun decided that she should leave her the infirmary, let Jaemin rest and get his mind around things. it only brought horrible thoughs to his mind and he had no way to get them out of his head.

with the help of Jisung who was waiting outside the infirmary since he wanted to see Jaemin, she got to Jaemin's room and basically fell onto his bed, watching as Jisung left the room, closing the door behind him.

Seohyun laid on Jaemin's bed, his head resting on his pillow as she stared at the roof. she was surprised with herself. the past day, maybe a bit more, she hadn't felt any emotions. she didn't feel anything really, but she had tears rolling out of her eyes, it was improvement.

she had to heal quickly in order to leave this place and restart her life away from it all the horrid memories his city had with it.

she had to leave.