Drarry and Wolfstar One Shots

Drarry ~ Intrusive thoughts

*Hi guys, this is like a second part to the 'Drarry ~ Reporters' one shot, so if you haven't read that, then maybe you should read it so that this one makes more sense. I just wanted to put a Trigger Warning in here because, as you can tell from the title, this one shot will cover intrusive thoughts, which include mentions of death and the taking of one's own life. It will also cover the fear of throwing up and nausea and PTSD as a whole. If any of these things bother you and/or trigger you, please do not read this one shot as it is purely based on that, with a little bit of Drarry fluff.*

*Also, please be nice, I wrote this at like three in the morning in a way to distract me from my own intrusive thoughts and nauseous feeling which is something I suffer from every night. If anyone else reading this is the same, I'm always here to talk, or if anyone has their own issues they would like to talk about, I'm here <3*

*With that said, I hope you read the Trigger Warnings, and I hope you enjoy the one shot*

~London - After Hogwarts~

Everyone who participated in the war has ended up with some sort of PTSD and long lasting effects. For Harry it's sensitivity to flashing lights and loud noises, whereas for Draco, his nights are plagued with intrusive thoughts and intense nausea.

It started off with the intrusive thoughts being so bad that he wouldn't fall asleep until his body physically couldn't stay awake anymore. Now, two years later, he's lucky if he falls asleep before three in the morning. It's not great, but he's improved and Harry is immensely proud of him.

Draco is grateful he has such a supportive boyfriend who will sometimes stay up with him for comfort and entertainment, or will be sleeping soundly in his arms, lulling him to sleep. Which brings us to the current moment.

Draco's POV

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Lying in bed, Harry snuggled into my chest as he slept, I think over the day. We went on a walk with Teddy. The boy seemed overjoyed when we showed up to pick him up from Andromeda's house. He insisted on bringing along his mermaid teddy and had a blast talking to it in the park. Harry and I walked slower, watching as the little boy ran around chatting to the birds and the ducks and the insects. Our hands intertwined, mine sometimes getting squeezed when a child would scream from joy in the playground nearby. Squeezing back, I give Harry a soft reassuring smile as he looks a little embarrassed.

I don't know why he gets embarrassed from it. He went through so much and it's understandable anyways to get scared from loud noises and obnoxious flashing lights. Not like me, weak and dumb. Why can't I be strong enough to ignore the intrusive thoughts? It's only my imagination anyway. Nothing is ever wrong, it's always just me and Harry cuddling in bed.

It's just me and him. Me and Harry.

In our bed. In Bed.

In our house. Our house.

Our safe house. Safe house.

No danger. Danger.

Dangerous death eaters downstairs. Death Eaters downstairs.

There was a noise. Where's the noise coming from?

Suddenly my heartbeat got incredibly strong. So strong to the point I can feel the pulsing in the tips of my ears. What would happen if that pulsing stopped? I once would have wanted it to, but not anymore, not now that I have Harry and Teddy. Shit - I mean, I never wanted it to happen, I always wanted to live, please don't let me die.

I can't die now. I have so much I still need to do. Get married to Harry, officially adopt Teddy, succeed in my job to its fullest potential, do some good for the world after all the bad I did. The bad. I was a death eater. I am a death eater, at least according to the mark on my arm. I can never go back. How could I have let that happen? I allowed myself to be pressured into getting the mark that summons the dark lord. What if he comes back? Oh fuck, what if I summon him back by accident?! Harry would hate me. He would leave. Teddy would leave. The wizarding world would hate me. Everyone would hate me. I would hate me. Besides the dark lord of course. I would just kill myself.