⟨⟨ ᴇʟᴏʀᴀ ʀᴀʏɴᴇ ⟩⟩
A wannabe writer studying Psychology in London far away from home. As her time in the great wide world comes to a close, she is left feeling as though she has done nothing with it. That is until she's in the right place, playing t...
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2016 landed up being one of the most painful years in Louis' life and he knew that he'd always look back on it apprehensively. He was not in the place, maturity- and health-wise, to see it as a beautiful period of growth. Rather, it stained black the pages of his story with a coagulated ink of sorrow and pain. Despite the major success that was his song with Steve Aoki or the extensive time he was finally awarded to bond with his family, everything was tainted with the malodorous stench of loss.
He had been naïve enough to think that Elora Rayne's departure from his life would be the worst that could happen to him. The nauseating ache of her absence had throbbed in his chest but it was nothing, absolutely nothing, in comparison to that of his mother's. Perhaps it was appropriate for him to declare boldly that he would go through losing Elora a million times just so that his mum could still be with him but he was selfish. He didn't want to lose either of them. Was that really selfish of him, though? What part of life condemns you to having to lose one in exchange for the other?
Whatever it was that led him to be where he stood was a nefarious thing and he wasn't in the state of mind to be agreeable with Life's Plan. Unfortunately, his blistering anger only lasted so long and eventually the crushing sadness overwhelmed all else. He didn't have space for indignance to his lot in life or belligerence towards what he was forced to endure. All he had was the undeniable reality that he had lost the most important person in his life and there was nothing he could do about it.
However, he was the oldest. He was the strong, big brother who had to make sure his sisters and tiny brother didn't fall into absolute despair. Never before in his life had he been more thankful for having two step-fathers who rushed to pull their weight so the pressure wasn't solely resting on him. Some inate part of his being, however, felt this immense responsibility to uplift all six of his siblings' feelings and it was draining. Ernest and Doris were too young to fully grasp the weight of the situation but their incessant questions acted as a constant reminder of what they were dealing with. There were only so many times you can hear 'where's Mummy?' without breaking down and Louis had been drawing near to it for a long time.
Lottie tried to help, she really did. At eighteen she felt an obligation to be the perfect older sister who had everything under control but there were times when she'd glance up at Louis and the tears would glimmer behind her eyes and all they could do was tensely smile at one another. When they were alone she allowed herself some vulnerability because she knew that Louis understood. He had to put on the same act, even more so than her, and sometimes they just needed to hold each other.
When Jay did die, it was at least with her family surrounding her. She didn't last to Louis' performance but her promise to be with him always rang in his heart. He had pleaded with her to keep fighting but was wise enough to see when it was too much and instead clung to her hand with permanently bleary eyes. The twin girls would pretend to be fine throughout the day but then at night they'd slip into his room and curl up into his frame. He'd be awake and would have nothing he could do besides wrap himself around them and try not to cry.
