Not That Perfect | JJ Maybank

FIFTEEN

I know

Warning- Sadness

I reach the door and let out a large breath I didn't know I was holding I open the door and walk in leaving my flip flops by the door with my bag next to them.

I walk into the kitchen and see Lucy sat on the kitchen Island with a glass of wine in her hand and a bottle of the wine next to her. She's not drunk surly It's hardly the afternoon. "Lucy I'm home" I make myself known to my aunt which is probably a bad idea.

"Jessica where have you been?" She asks seeming very calm maybe she's not  drunk.

"I was just with Sarah" I tell her as I stand In front of her she offers me a sip of her wine but I decline it.

I turn around and grab a coffee cup I set it down on the counter ready to make a cup of coffee even though I've just had an Iced tea not even 15 minuets ago.

"I know everything" she tells me without explaining what it is exactly that she 'knows'.

"Know what?" I play along as I make my coffee,

"what I've done to you. I've always known" is she admitting to what I think she is admitting to.

"Then why didn't you stop drinking?" I attempt to stay calm without looking at her so she can't see the tears that are blurring my vision.

"I don't know" she answers making me scoff and shake my head then turn around to face her.

"You don't know?" I laugh as I repeat her words back to her.

She goes to speak but interrupt before she has the chance.

"I don't know why my aunt Lucy who I have looked up to my whole life, has been beating me up, for what? Almost every night for the past 3 months! Do you know why I hate it so much? It's not the fact that you abuse me hit me and try and do whatever you can to hurt me. It's the fact that when ever you do it your drunk. Alcohol is the reason my parents are dead, they died because I drank too much that night and on top of all that guilt I have you and it's just too much" I ramble and only then do I notice that my tears have fallen along with more blurring my vision.

"I'm sorry Jess I really am I" Is that it is that all I get after all this I get a 'sorry'.

"You can stick that sorry right up you ass Lucy!" I shout without noticing my voice had risen and how much closer I had gotten to my aunt almost in front of her face. More tears stream down my face as I run out of the kitchen grab my bag. I go up to my room then shut the door locking it.

I jump onto my bed dropping my bag on the floor and cry into my pillow. "Jess?" I flinch at my name being mentioned. I sit up and see JJ sat on my window seat I must not have seen him when I came running in.

I quickly wipe my tears and put on a fake smile something I'm way too used to.

"How did you get in?" I ask

"I jumped the gate then climbed up to the window"

"Are you ok?" JJ asks as he moves from the window seat to next to me on my bed and begins to rub circles on my lower back to comfort me.

"Yeah I'm fine" I lie, I hate lying I hate it so much the only reason for that is because I hate being lied to so I hate doing it to others.

"No your not Jess I heard everything your not ok" he reads my mind and hugs me and I finally give in I sob in his arms something I've never been comfortable with anyone to do but in his arms there is a sense of safety and comfort.

Something I've not felt since my mother died she always without fail made me feel safe and loved.

"Everything?" I question him because if he heard everything that means he knows my aunt abuses me and that my parents are dead both of which I lied about.

"Yeah" he sighs.

"I'm sorry" I tell him whilst I slowly calm down from my sobbing.

"Hey hey hey don't ever be sorry ever you hear me" JJ says whilst releasing me from our hug and looks me in the eye.

"Thank you" I smile looking up to him with tear still streaming down my face.

"Look we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to but we can whenever you want" he assures me.

five minuets pass of us both just sitting in a comfortable silence just enjoying each others presence. "Why are you even here?" I brake the silence and let out a small laugh "I came back to give you your shirt you put it in my bag this morning" he explains and he points to his backpack on the window seat.

"Oh yeah thanks JJ" I thank him and stand up as does he, we look at one another and he wraps me in his arms in yet another hug making me feel just as safe as the last one did.

I then look out the window and see my aunt leaving our house I sit on my window seat and attempt to see where she is going.

"JJ isn't that Sarahs' house?" I ask the blond boy stood behind me. "Yeah why would she be going there?" He answers with a question.

"I don't know" I answer "but I couldn't give a flying fuck what she does anymore" I say wiping tears off my checks.

A/N:

Okay so that was a tad emotional even for me don't forget to vote and follow for more updates