Mine Forever: A Dark Mafia Romance

Chapter 33 Dante -Aching

Fuck.

I cannot lose her.

I never considered that Sonia might have a problem with what I do. I never thought that she might not want me because of it. She's the Gavino mafia principessa, for god's sake. I thought she understood what goes into this life.

Now, I have her crying upstairs, alone. And all I want to do is to go and comfort her.

But I restrain myself. I hold back, knowing that I can't follow her. Not yet anyway.

What she's asking of me is too much. She wants me to quit the life I was born into, to turn my back on all the responsibility I've been given. I can't do that, not even for her.

I sit silently and finish my dinner, thinking about how I should handle this situation. But then, when the answers don't come, I decide to go for a walk on the beach.

Opening the massive sliding doors at the back of the house, I inhale the scent of the ocean. It's a clear night, and the balmy air feels good against my skin. I walk down the steps towards the sea, wondering what Sonia must be thinking of me. Does she think I'm the devil? Evil incarnate? The truth is, I am some of those things. I've done shit that I'm not proud of being raised in this life. But that's the darkness inside of me. It's some of who I am, but it's not my core. That's why I wanted to get out of this business. I begged Silvio to let me go, and he was fine with it, knowing that my heart wasn't in this shit anymore. But now, thanks to Leonio, Silvio's gone and with him all of my hopes and dreams of being free.

I eventually reach the beach.

Taking my shoes off, I allow the sand to sink in-between my toes and fuck if it doesn't feel nice. New York and all the worries that come with my territory there feel like a million miles away. Nothing can touch me here on Diamond Island. Nothing can break my calm

, except for her.

Sonia's gotten under my skin in a way I was never expecting. She sets me on fire and makes me think about life in a new manner.

How have I let this happen? How did I let a Gavino get to me like this?

Walking down the shore, I think of what she said...

"Why do you have to stay in the mafia if it makes you so unhappy?... You're the boss. You can do whatever you want...I need a new life, a different life. One that's not associated with the mafia in any way. I can't live like this anymore."

I look around the beach, at the sparkling sand and the moon as it crests over the ocean.

I could live here. I can see myself being a beach bum, conducting business from my desk, which looks out over the ocean. It could happen. But the mafia piece is what's missing. Sonia wants me to turn my back on that, to stop being a De Rose.

I can't do that. You don't just stop being in the mafia. You either die, or you go to jail, but you don't stop being in the family you've given your oath to.

Still, I had wanted to do it when Silvio was alive. With my brother at the helm of things, it was in the realm of possibility that I would leave and do my own thing. So why not now? Why couldn't I disappear?

To do so would be risky, but there are ways to get it gone. For example, I could go somewhere with Sonia and never be seen by my adversaries again. We could hide away forever.

The thought tears at the edges of my mind, causing me to think on it, to think about what it would be like to be free.

I walk a couple of miles down the beach and back again, and only then am I ready to see her, my principessa.

When I get back to the house, I immediately go up to the master bedroom, anticipating that I'll see Sonia and that she'll be upset with me. I walk upstairs to the room with the best views at the end of the hall, knocking lightly on the door.

"Come in," I hear her say softly from the other side.

Opening the door, I see her sitting on the bed with her legs curled up beneath her. She likes to pull herself into a little ball, I've noticed. Her cheeks are stained where tears have fallen, but her eyes are dry at the moment.

"Can we talk?" I ask.

"I guess," she says. "But I'm not going to change my mind, Dante. I'm never going to be all right with what you do. I'm not even sure what it is that you do. People are famous for keeping me in the dark. So I can only assume that your business dealings are not all above board."

She's right, of course. While I have several businesses that do operate legally, such as my financial firms and eco-development sites worldwide, and even some real estate investments, the majority of what I handle is in the illegal realm, thus the meaning of me being a mafia leader. But it's business all the same. To me, it's the shit I grew up with. I was groomed to be involved in this world, and it's all I know.

I sit on the edge of the bed, trying not to notice how fucking stunning Sonia looks in that dress.

"I realize that this has been your life," I explain. "And that you want out."

"Yes, I do," she says.

"But Sonia, it's not as simple as all that. If I tried to leave, do you know what would happen to me? I'd be hunted down and killed. In this game, you're in, or you're out. There's no in-between."

Her eyes become wide with shock. "You think someone would kill you for leaving your position?"

I nod. "I'm sure of it. It's all about power in this field—exuding it, protecting it, and most of all, having it. I can't let anyone think for a moment that I've become weak. If that were to happen, someone from a rival family would take me out and my entire crew."

A tear slides down her face. "So then there's no way out of this? We're just stuck being in this crime-filled world?"

I run my hand along her legs, trying to soothe her. "Yes. But I need you to trust me, Sonia. I know what the fuck I'm doing at all times. I'm going to protect you from everything. So can you please try to trust me?"

For a second, I think she's going to hesitate and pull back. This moment could be when I lose her. But instead, she embraces me.

Her hand finds mine, and a slight smile comes across her lips. "I guess so. I guess I can try to trust you. But Dante, you have to realize that this is all very hard for me. I've wanted out of this world for a very long time. I'm tired of being kept in the dark about things, and I'm sick of always wondering if something will happen to me or someone I love because of this business."

I pull her to me, engulfing her in my arms. "Good. That makes me very fucking happy. And I know what you mean. But Sonia, I will never let anyone hurt you. I'm going to protect you. That's what you need to trust. And besides, think what a long way we've come. We've gone from being mortal enemies to being two people who care about each other."

She wraps her arms around me tightly. "You care about me?" she asks.

I nod. "Very fucking much."

And it's true. From the first moment I saw Sonia, from seeing her almost fling herself off the balcony at my estate, I knew that my focus would be on her forever. I care whether she lives or dies. I care about her so much that it's almost painful for me to admit. There's a kind of aching desire inside of my heart for her. Call it love. Call it lust. Whatever the fuck you want to call it, it's real, and I will never let her go.