"Even when we departed you never left me. I carried everything you said to me and did for me even when we were apart. You were inside of me. You'll always be a piece of me."
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Sitting on the front row of a church pew, Genesis has knots in his stomach. His chest feels heavy, his heart beats slow and harshly, his throat feels tight, and his eyes are watery. With sunglasses over his eyes he tries to conceal his emotions. He thought the pill he took would numb his pain, but nothing could get rid of this feeling...
Knowing his father's in that casket. Losing your parent is a feeling that can't be described, especially when you feel like you had more time. You were created in them. They're one of the people who knows you your entire life.
The one person who worked so hard to save his life was gone. His father worked overtime to save Genesis, and he's the one who couldn't save him before it was too late. The person who said they'd die before they let something happen to Gee. Gone.
Genesis had been doing everything possible to make his father proud. He owed him that after all the stress he caused him. Even with finally retiring his father and buying him the truck he wanted, that didn't feel like it was enough. None of that mattered. Time did. And for too many years Gee spent them defying him. He constantly questioned was anything enough to make his father proud to say Gee's his son after all his countless mistakes. He questions it even more now that his Dad can't answer or tell him.
Gee looks at his hands in his lap. One grips the funeral program with his father's picture on the front as his palms sweat. He looks at the Rolex on his wrist trying to keep his eyes open. Along with the watch on his wrist is a tan rubber band. He wears a pinky ring, but on his index and middle finger are smaller black rubber bands used for hair. He fiddles with his hand before pulling at the one on his index finger to pop himself. It's something he's done since 18 when Magenta taught him the trick for anxiety and stress back in college. He's been doing it so long it's second nature. Everyday he puts on rubber bands like they're the finest iced out jewelry. His friends always assumed they were for stacks of money, but no.
To keep from looking at the casket he concentrates on his hands popping himself with the rubber band on his wrist. Before he knows it his mind drifts off while the pastor preaches his sermon...
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