Chapter [16]

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The songs for this chapter are:

-Dead Air: CHVRCHES

-Ghost of You: Selena Gomez

-Best Mistake: Ariana Grande ft. Big Sean

Happy Birthday Ameera!

I love you so much beautiful! This chapter is for you and all that you have done for me, I hope maybe one day I can give back to all that you have given, thank you for making my life and I hope you have an amazing birthday, you truly deserve it! I hope this chapter finds you just as you wake up and brings a smile to your face. There aren't words to describe how much I love you!

Enjoy :)

I pray for you to never forget the days when I smile and I hope more than life that you can stop the tears.

"It's okay to cry," Justin whispers.

The room around us is out of the ordinary. One of the hospital rooms in Tacoma, Washington is a place I've never visited. But now I rest my head lightly on a hospital pillow, with Justin's hand enclosing mine.

I keep my eyes set straight on a crack spanning over the ceiling, refusing to cry.

Or maybe because I can't cry.

I was never going to be a mother; they said. There was no heartbeat.

Perhaps that's why I haven't the strength to cry; because the life I thought was living inside me, never even existed.

Sweat coats my hairline as if I just ran a marathon, but I can't stop myself from going into shock.

I move in and out of trances when Justin's voice can usher me from my own darkness, but the second my mother saw Justin she froze.

Nothing in life can prepare you for being a mother, but nothing comes close to what a woman feels when the life ceases inside of you. Alive or not.

The second I lost my baby, Justin's lower right calf was covered in my blood, and I had screamed.

I had thrown the covers off so fast to stand that I hadn't even realized what had happened until Justin had turned on the light and pulled on his boxers.

It was like a crime scene where someone was murdered and I turned away from it quickly, only to be held against Justin's chest.

"Selena," he could only say my name before my bedroom door slammed open and my mother had stormed in.

And she froze.

Her concerned expression faded and was replaced with hate.

I wanted to speak, I wanted to tell her that she doesn't know Justin the way I do. I wanted to hate her even more for what she had done.

But I couldn't.

You could see the suspicion settling on her features as she assumed what had just happened.

I could feel myself sinking back into the darkness Justin had made me crave, as they screamed around me.

In the end, I was dressed, the blood was left on the sheets as a twisted reminder.

"Can you say something, please baby?" Justin squeezes my hand and I find the will to tighten my fingers around his.

He lets out a sigh as I stick out my tongue to wet my drying lips.

"Why do the worst things always happen to the best people?" My voice is clear and Justin moves his thumb over my knuckles.

But we are not the best people. In truth he, and I might just be the worst people around. Always running around like fools, crazy in love, or ranting with rage.

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