Chapter [32]

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The songs for this chapter are:

-Powerful: Major Lazer ft. Ellie Goulding

-On My Mind: Ellie Goulding

-Take Me Home: Cash Cash ft. Bebe Rexha 

Hey guys! I private messed a ton of you a couple nights ago. Literally I was on my computer for hours into the night when I should not have been up. Anyway, I am so thankful for all of the support, and if you haven't checked your messages yet, chances are, there is a message from me there. So go check it out. I love you all, enjoy this chapter! Some new characters....

Also, thank you so much for 402 followers!!

Selena's POV

Justin is still not here, and as the time ticks by the more anxious and nervous I become. Pattie has insisted I sit up front next to her and her family, but it doesn't feel right when my biological parents are sitting toward the back. Together.

Brian Teefey has disappeared and I try not to run up to my father and tell him about how my mother was just here with another man not five minutes ago. However, he isn't that innocent either. I hate holding things against people, but that seems to be exactly what I do. I keep things from Justin, from my own parents, practically the whole damn world around me, and I would like to think I even keep things from myself.

Is that even possible?

I want to speak to my father about everything because he was the one who would always listen to me, but now, as I continue to glance back at my not-so-in-love parents, I can't help but fight the smile that tugs at the corner of my mouth as I watch them sit close together. It may be the fact that others are pact around them, forcing their shoulders to touch, but it doesn't matter to me. I would love more than anything, to rewind and go back to when I thought they were the most in love people in the whole world.

Children are juvenile and no one prepares us for how cruel everyone really is.

Truth be told, I was one stupid child, I can see that now with Justin's help and the way he has corrupted me in the most demented yet beautifully way possible.

Crazy as it sounds, I wouldn't have wanted to become this version of myself without him. I wouldn't even be this Selena without him, and some part of me still thanks him, while the other holds onto the thinning shreds of the girl I once was. 

I can't believe everything isn't eating me away consistently. Yes, I hate holding secrets and feeling dirty or fighting sides that I was once apart of, but I can't help it. I fell in love with Justin Bieber, the devil who never really needed a savior and instead got an angel.

Or at least, that's what he says.

My mind wanders to the tattoo of myself on the outside of his wrist. I have angel wings coating my shoulders in the most delicate way surrounded by swirls of other beautiful designs. I never liked tattoo's much, but I would give the world to be able to stare at Justin's forever, to trace the swirls of black ink over his arms, across his chest and even down his legs. 

They memorize me, even now, as I sit alone, day dreaming about Justin's arms.

I snap out of my trance and the second I do, my nerves return and my knee begins to bounce widely without my control. My hands are shaking in the most unhealthiest way and I feel off my meds. I should seem to be going bonkers.

Thankfully, Pattie is speaking with a couple of an elderly man and woman to her left, as I sit quietly, trying to hold myself together on this messed up day. I can hear bits of their conversation all surrounded around my little boy and my nerves relax momentarily to eavesdrop.

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