Chapter [21]

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The only song for this chapter is:

-Young and Beautiful: Lana Del Rey

I have never used just one song for a chapter, but this chapter is out of special request from some readers. Yes you know who you are :) please, if you have this song, please listen to it during this whole chapter on repeat.

Btw only the second half of this is dirty, so if you don't want to read "that" part, read this chapter until then. But you'll miss key things at the end. Anyway, let's all get our hands a little dirty...

"Grandpa?" I whisper, holding my cell phone to my ear as Justin sleeps beside me in the drivers seat. We are parked in the parking lot of our apartment and it all seems scary.

We haven't gone up in case my mother has already checked there. I know she must have, my absence must be driving her insane.

But what's driving me insane, is that sooner or later I will have to go back.

I can only hide from the truth for so long.

"Selena?" His raspy voice says my name through the phone and I hold in my tears with a slight nod even though he can't see it.

"Hi, how are you?" I ask and he chuckles.

"I'm fine, how is my superstar?"

Not so super.

If only he knew how my story had changed, but he won't.

"I'm tired." I admit honestly, running my fingers through my hair and staring down at my lap. My body is clothed in Justin's sweatshirt and sweats, his smell lingering on the clothes, making me ready to cuddle.

My grandfather coughs, "It's late for you sleepy head."

I've stayed up later. I've sat up all night thinking about everything and now is no different. I don't know what made me call my grandpa, but I did.

I guess because I wanted to hear his voice.

"Grandpa," I pull my knee's to my chest.

"Yes?"

"What's your favorite animal?" I can't help but cover my mouth to hide a laugh and quick glance at Justin to make sure he hasn't woken up yet. It must seem like an ironic question to anyone else all of a sudden, but to my gramps and I, it makes sense.

My grandpa laughs in between wheezes and I feel my heat sinking. He's still sick.

"A zebra." He answers.

"Why?"

"Because Zebra's are just horses with striped pajamas."

My grandfather used to say, Zebra's are like illusions. Are they white with black stripes or black with white stripes. I figured they were always white with black stripes, but he told me I was wrong. Not that his way was right, he would say, but everyone sees the same thing differently, you can't make someone see something you can't see if they asked you. It is unfair and life is the resemblance of the Zebra's coat.

What do you see; white with black stripes or black with white stripes?

"I miss you Grandpa," a small tear escapes my closed eyes and I can hear my grandfather sigh.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

I wipe the rolling tear away, "Nothing, it just feels like forever since I've seen you."

It has been forever.

"Forever is only a word sweet cakes, but my love for you is infinite. I see you every night buttercup. Here in Wisconsin, just like anywhere else there are clear nights and cloudy ones, but you know what?" He says calming every inch of my soul and reaching deeper to set my fires to rest.

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