Take Me 2

Chapter [22]

The songs for this chapter are:

-The Seeds You Sow: Prides

-Viva La Vida: Coldplay

-Good For You: Selena Gomez

-Don't Deserve You: Plumb

I'm starting off with the last few lines from Chapter 21, in case anyone forgot what had happened last. Enjoy my sweet little readers...

Justin is my first.

Listen to that. My first. I know no one else. I don't want anyone else, but what if, one day I do? He's had others before me, and now I'm just scared and unsure.

Justin's light snoring breaks through seconds later and I am positive he's asleep.

I place my hand on his cheek before scooting out of his embrace.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

****

It is times like this, that I wish I could watch TV, and like coffee.

But there is no TV in this apartment and coffee is disgusting, no matter how many times I've tried to force myself to like it.

My bare toes stick to the hardwood flooring as I tiptoe away from Justin and out of our bedroom. I take one last look at him, before closing the door, not completely, behind myself and starting down the dark hallway. I haven't been in this apartment long, but I could navigate it even if I were blind. The dark doesn't bother me now, Justin has taught me that not only demons hide in it, but sometimes it is soothing to just disappear behind the shadows.

Sometimes, not always, it is okay to cease to exist.

But all I want to do right now, is relive what Justin and I just did.

I feel alive.

The light in the bathroom blinds me, but I slowly let the light wash away my darkened eyesight, before I'm starring at myself in the mirror. I used to wonder who I was and what I was going to be and do, but now I'm content on the unknown. I like the person I have become, even though sometimes it seems all for not, something keeps us on this path and I wouldn't change it for the world.

I lean over the counter, supporting myself on the palms of my hands as I lean closer toward the mirror. My reflection surprises me, when I smile.

It's the kind of smile that makes you wish you had the strength to stop it, because following it are the body tingles and those damn butterflies that never seem to leave. The kind of smile that makes you wrap your arms around your own shoulders and hug yourself. The smile where your eyes are closed and you aren't thinking about anything, but instead focusing on how happy you truly are.

Happiness.

The state of bliss. The embellishment of being wrapped in a blanket of heavenly love.

My fingers move up from the countertops to run over my neck, then along my jawline. Justin's kisses are still so fresh on my body, I swear I can feel them. My fingers pick up every inch of where Jay's lips had once been.

Then, just as move my left had around to rub the back of my neck, moving my hair over to the side, do I feel the cool burn of something on my skin. I pull my hand away from my neck, to look at my fingers and there it is, right where I left it when we were in the car.

Justin's ring.

Or my ring.

When I was little, I always thought my boyfriend would propose to me when we were both out of college, living in an apartment together and spending long nights together after hectic work days. I never thought that the boy who would propose to me would be when I am only eighteen; hardly an adult and more a child than anything else.