Chapter [34]

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The songs for this chapter are:

-Love the Way You Lie: Eminem ft. Rihanna

-Sorry: Justin Bieber

-Home: One Direction

Justin's POV

"Justin, sweetheart, come meet your little brother."

I shake my head, "No mommy. What if he doesn't like me?"

"He will love you baby," my mother encourages me but it only makes my eleven year old body cover itself in goosebumps. She reaches out to me again, to try and coax me out of the corner I've tucked myself into, but I cower away again.

When I'm older, I don't want to hide away from anything ever again, but for now, I'll be the prey to all my predators.

I turn my face into the corner, "I'm afraid."

My mother bends down, her hand reaching out to touch my shoulder. Normally I would push her hand away, but now I want her love. I welcome the warmth as much as I can.

"Justin," her voice is so soft and coaxing, "look at me."

I do as I'm told. The second our eyes meet, she smiles making her eyes light up. I noticed how happy my mother was when she was pregnant for the last freaking year, sure it was only nine months but it felt like forever. After trying for years and years after I was born, I could tell just how happy my mother was to not only bring another life into this world, but to give me a sibling.

I would never admit it, but seeing my mother's smile through all the pain she suffered, miscarriage after miscarriage breathes life back into me again.

"There," my mother touches my chin, "it's not so hard to face your fears when you realize it was silly to fear them in the first place."

"Some fears don't go away, Mommy." I pout but my mother doesn't by it. She tightens her grip on my chin, her smile fading.

"Listen to me Justin, there will be things in this world that will terrify you, but if you can't overcome them you will ruin yourself. I don't want you to ever hate either, because when someone hurts you, they hold power over you. Learn to forgive baby, and trust, and when all the wars have ended, forgive yourself,"

Her brows raise, before she reaches for both my hands, pulling me to my feet as I try my hardest to resist. I'm standing in front of her by the time she lets my fists go. Her eyes are piercing mine.

"Do you understand?" She asks, ruffling my baby hairs. I lean away from her touch to cross my arms. My heart is beating out of my chest and I know it would be much easier to take this feeling in my chest and use it to run away for the hundredth time. But I don't.

This time is different. There is another life in this lifeless house, and my curiosity overrules my anger.

What if I am forgotten now? As if anyone realizes I'm alive now.

I am reminded in times like this, when my mother comes around long enough to make me want to cry into her shoulder and sleep in her bed like a toddler, but they are gone as quickly as they start. She goes back to work, my father cheats, she pretends I don't know how messed up my family is and I act like I'm the oblivious little troubled eleven year old that the whole neighborhood loves, but doesn't really know.

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