Remus Lupin Imagines

Unfulfilled Wishes

A/N: This one is personal- I cried writing the first part. It sucks.

XX

Have you ever been so confused of where you stand with someone?

On one side of the Hall you had your once best friend, Remus Lupin and on the other side of the table you had a one year younger Regulus Black, your latest crush.

That was once upon a time.

And you know what was worse. You haven't talked to Remus in two months. Two crucioting months and with Regulus it's so hard to read where you are. Where do you stand with him? Is he still with Maggie?

And what was even worse than that- the worst. You aren't seeing neither of them. You are in this limbo of not knowing how either of them feels.

And then there is James Potter, the crush you had for three long years before you could move on. He was Remus' best friend and Remus lived a street away from you.

He lived so close and Regulus lived so far.

And the sad truth is, you never thought of Remus in a romantic way until you had a dream of you and him, holding hands and feeling so incredibly safe it almost melted you away.

' You walked alongside your best friend and there was another friend you haven't spoken in so long. You were happy with your best friend but then came a figure with his usual bright smile and quirk of an eyebrow that was cut at the wing. They were almpst blonde even though his hair was brown, light shade of brown and his eyes were usually emerald but when up close they weren't emerald. They were bluish green. And he was tall and lanky and he was smiling at you- suddenly you weren't happy anymore. You were so overjoyed, ecstatic and jubilant. When he was with you all past hurt was gone and he was there. He was finally there after you waited for so long. He was smiling and you felt free and at peace. His hand brushed yours and with that brush it sent such warmt down your body, causing your hand to take a hold of his. He moved it away but then you looked up and he looked down, gave you a comforting simper before grabbing your hand firmly and holding it all the way. You felt yourself lean to him as you always did- you leaned on him when life was tough. You hugged him- so that when your amrs wrapped themselves around his neck, your toes lifted your whole body weight up and his long arms wrapped themselves around your torso. You squeezed him and he squeezed you and it felt so safe, you wouldn't want to let go. '

But then you woke up. You woke up to reality of him never coming back. He lives a street down and he left. He left you. He left you because he has pride.

He left you because he didn't want to tell you how he feels and a caring dumbass you are, you pressured him. You pressured him into opening up and when you do try to open a clam up, it has tendency to shut itself close and bite you in the process.

You were part of this connection breaking down. You did have 50% of fault but when you ghosted him- he didn't even bother to ask. He snapped at you like that and then he pretended that everything was fine but it wasn't .It wasn't for you because words fucking hurt and he hurt you so much. And he continued to hurt you by not caring enough to come back to you, which you desperately want but he won't do. And what's worse is that you torture yourself for it. You still think it's your fault. All of it. You do think that. You feel like you made this connection break and now you're torturing yourself because of it.

You know he was there for you and you did promise him to be his true friend. But sometimes his problems weren't the only problems in the world. It sounds so selfish but it felt like you were putting more effort in this than he did. You asked and he only replied. You cared and he only replied. He never asked for you, did he? - And the dumb caring person you are, you got attached and you thought you could handle it. You thought that the two of you were just friends but two months of this just proved that you loved him so much and now you're crying on this sucky day because you know he doesn't love you as close as you love him. You care so much. You care 3x- 10x times more and he doesn't care enough to ask if you're okay.