High Wind and Waves (Provincia de Marina Series #2)

Kabanata 35

Kabanata 35

High Wind and Waves

Reeve and I were working things out. We're still trying to figure out each other and getting to know a lot of things we've missed. At the same time, Isidore's been sending me flowers and gifts. He'll visit unannounced at the clinic kaya nagugulat na lang kami ni Reeve na naroon siya at nag-aabang sa akin. I have no problem with him, visiting me at any hour of the day. Kaya lang sana naman kapag bibisita siya, kausapin niya rin si Reeve. Kasi sa tuwing bumibisita siya, iniiwasan niyang matingnan ang kapatid. Kaunting babati lang pagkatapos ay babaling na sa akin.

I even asked Reeve if he talks to him whenever Isidore's home. Pero kapag sinusubukan niya, nauuna ang inis ni Isidore bago pa man masimulan ang pag-uusap.

It was even hard to tell if Isidore's really competing for his love for me or he's just competing solely against his brother. Kasi sa nararamdaman ko, ginagawa niya lang iyon upang makaganti kay Reeve o makalamang.

I never thought of Isidore that way. At sa ginagawa niya ngayon, hindi ko naman nararamdaman na nanliligaw siya para makuha ang loob ko. He cares, alright. Kahit papaano, nakikita ko pa rin ang Isidore na una kong nakilala noon. He's still gentle when it comes to me. Pinapatawa at pinapangiti niya pa rin ako but it was not enough to make me fall for him. Talagang ang nasa isip ko ay kaibigan na lang ang turing ko sa kaniya. Hindi na hihigit pa roon at ayaw ko siyang masaktan at umasa. Pero ano pa bang magagawa ko para tumigil na siya? Everytime I tried to speak about it...he would just try to divert my attention to something else. Iniiwasan niya iyon. Ayaw niyang marinig mula sa akin kahit alam naman niya ang katotohanan.

"Thank you for today, Ada." Ngiti niya sa akin bago bitawan ang aking kamay. I let him hold my hand if that's where he is comfortable with. Wala namang kaso sa akin iyon at pinagbibigyan ko na lang.

But this will be the last time that I will let him.

Nakatingin lamang ako sa kaniya. He was smiling but it didn't reach his eyes. Siguro napansin niyang wala rin akong gana ngayon at malimit lang magsalita. Either way, he did not speak about it. Nagpatuloy siya sa pagkukuwento sa akin ng tungkol sa clinic at iilang ginagawa niya pa roon.

"Sid," I called his name. Ang kaniyang ngiti ay parang buhangin sa dagat na inanod ng tubig.

"I don't think this is working out for the both of us." Umiling ako. "Ayaw ko ng patagalin pa. I know that you're doing your best and you're really trying hard...but I just can't feel anything for you. I'm sorry. Ayaw kong masaktan ka pa. Ayaw kong umasa ka sa akin. Surely, there will be another girl——

"Ikaw lang naman ang gusto ko, Ada. M-mahirap ba akong mahalin?" Kumurap ako sa kaniyang tanong.

Agad akong umiling. It saddens me that he was able to ask me that question. Hindi ko alam na iyon ang iniisip niya sa tuwing tinatanggihan ko siya.

"No, Sid. It's just that...maybe you're not the right guy for me and I am not the right girl for you. Kapag ipinagpatuloy mo pa ito, I don't think you could move on."

"I don't want to move on, Ada! I just want to have one girl and that's you. A-ano pa bang kulang ko? A-ada please? Can you tell me? I've been with you for as long as I could remember. I was there all the time to help you. I was your shoulder to lean on, Ada. I've been your friend. Bakit hindi pwedeng mas humigit pa tayo roon?"

Parang sinasakal ako sa mga sinabi niya. I tried to look away but I couldn't. A lone tear escaped his eye and it was enough to make me gasp. Naluluha ako kasi hindi ko alam kung ano pa ba ang magagawa pa sa kaniya.

Iyon nga eh. Friend. He had been my friend and I want it to stay that way. Ayaw kong pilitin ang sarili na magustuhan siya dahil alam kong sa huli, pagsisisihan ko iyon. Malinaw na noon pa ang sinabi ko sa kaniya...kaya lang dumating si Reeve. It triggered him to pursue me kasi pakiramdam niya, basta-basta na lang akong babalik kay Reeve at babaliwalain na siya.