She grew up in the clutches of poverty; He was raised in the lap of luxury.
She hated nobles; He couldn't be bothered with commoners.
Her heart hidden deep in thorny vines; His one burning in his sleeves.
She was the recently orphaned flower seller;...
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How should we like it were stars to burn With a passion for us we could not return? If equal affection cannot be, Let the more loving one be me.
- W. H. Auden
ISOLDE'S POV
I walk backward, slowly, scared if I rush, the thing will come behind me. Mama was right, my curiosity really did get me in trouble. As I made my way back to the flower field, I noticed how eerily quiet my surroundings have become.
God, how I wish I hadn't noticed something emerging from the depths of the forest behind the rocks.
I could vaguely make the shape of a large deer as it slowly made its way out of the dark forest. It halted in front of the forest and looked at me.
I stared in a daze as its features became clearer to me. It was a Reindeer or a moose, I couldn't tell, as it had the stripes of a tiger on its skin. Its face was in the shape of a monkey's with a snake tongue constantly hissing out, it had the horns of a gazelle, had the mane of a horse with feathers sticking out of it. Some moss was sticking on its skin or was growing there, I didn't know. Whatever this creature was, earth walked with it.
I realized I had stopped moving in the majestic presence of this foreign creature. Like before, I couldn't move. The creature slowly, at a steady pace, came closer and I smelled a faint smell in the air.
It was the smell of moss that grows behind my house, the smell of earth soaked in rain, the earthly scent that fills the lungs to their fullest. A scent familiar to only those who frequent these grounds.
It was the scent of this place.
Terrified, trembling, I looked down and finally saw its hooves, different on each front leg, standing before me. It moved its head close to me and smelled me. When I finally mustered the courage to look up, I came face to face with its arched neck towards me.
Then it spoke, in a voice too similar to mama for me to not answer.
"Isolde, was it?" It said in a whisper.
I could only reply by nodding as sound refused to come out of my mouth.
"I do remember you, my child. A feisty little one with her mother chasing behind. What happened, little halfling, for you to lose spirit?" It asked again, curiously tilting its neck.
"My mother passed away," is all I could say and it was all I had to say.
"From nature, we came, to nature we go back. Such is the law of the old ones. Do not be disheartened, do not be saddened for spirit is eternal ."
The answer brought back the rage I had kept inside me, carefully, fearing it might spill and flood the world. Rage at the Gods for being so indifferent, rage at how unfair they were.
Their laws took my mama, my poor hardworking mama who never got a day's rest. But it didn't harm the cruel count in his sturdy castle with plentiful food even when he raised the taxes every year.
It brought its forehead to mine as if sensing my despair, looked into my eyes, and said, "Sadness often wears the cloak of rage. It shields our hearts from the scars the world will leave when we let ourselves feel, do not be swayed by its screams as vengeance often scares happiness away."
Tears threatening to come out of my eyes, breathing heavily, I stood with my forehead connected to its forehead. And all of a sudden, the symbols on the rocks started to glow.
I stood, for what felt like hours, as vines grew on the creature's body, vines that slowly circled our heads together, and then I felt everything. I felt the trees deep within the forest, from the biggest animal to the smallest insect, from the highest branch of the gigantic trees to the deepest roots. I felt nature. I felt its love and to balance the love, its harsh indifference. I felt like we weren't given its love in all its passion because we couldn't return it in equal measure.
As the vines grew I loved the flowers, the lake, the forest more and more, and with the understanding of nature, all my hate turned into love. Except there was no indifference from my side.
Because if equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me.
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