[OLD] One Helluva Boss! (A Blitzø x reader fanfiction/Oneshots, Scenarios, etc)

Truth Seekers

It opens up to four monitors; the first one showing Blitzø and Moxxie outside Martha's house, Moxxie then pushes Y/n's gun causing her to shoot in the wrong direction in 'Murder Family'. Another showing Millie coming out of the ocean after killing the fish monster in 'Spring Broken', another's showing Millie and Moxxie french-kissing while swinging on a rope in 'C.H.E.R.U.B', there's a piece of footage of Y/n and Blitzø, comforting each other in 'Murder Family', and on the fourth monitor is a shot of horses, which then zooms past them onto Blitzø, who's making a goofy face. Someone then points at Blitzø. "Right there. This was the first sighting." Another agent speaks. "They are definitely from Hell. They must use this dark magic to cross over into our world... and they seem to be killing specifically-targeted people, but why?" He questioned to the 2nd agent. "They always attack at random, all over the country. There's no way to predict where they'll show up next." A loud clattering noise is heard from outside, followed by an angry cat sound. The two agents immediately glance over to a hole in the wall that is covered with small wood planks. Forming a little peek hole to the outside. They then see the source of all the racket, Blitzø outside on top of some trash bags and dumpsters looking around. Y/n goes to check on him and asks if he's alright. "Ah well, that's convenient." Blitzø gets up from the garbage can. "Shh! Remember, we can't be seen." Y/n rolls her eyes. "Um, yeah I kinda reminded you. " She crossed her arms and smirked. "Oh. Well, thanks honey!" He smiles and kisses her on the cheek. Y/n smiles and goes through the portal. Blitzø slams the dumpster door loudly, but then falls into a pile of trash bags. "Pardon my word, sir, but you're currently being the loudest." Moxxie told Blitzø. "I said shush your dick sucking lips, Moxxie. Y/n is the only one who can make my asshole shut." Moxxie steps away from Blitzø for a short moment as the portal was opened, Moxxie was about to head towards the portal with a smile. "Get down!" Blitzø then tackles Moxxie towards the ground as a net zoomed by. Agent Two reloads his weapon as Blitzø runs towards Moxxie to protect them. He looks behind him and sees Agent One, jumping down with a rope from a building and infront of the portal. "Loona! Close it!" Blitzø yells at Loona who's in the portal. "Wait! No!" Millie says, desperately. Y/n holds her back as she has a panicked look on her face. When Moxxie saw the portal closed, he suddenly gets mad and fights the two agents while Blitzø hid. However, he was hit by a tranquilizer dart and falls to the ground. "Moxxie!"

With his quick thinking, Blitzø grabs Moxxie and runs away. He hits Agent Two as he kept on running as they were catching up. "I smell... Colors..." Moxxie speaks in a drunk-like tone.
Then, Blitzø stopped at a dead end with the agents got him cornered. "Back off, you tuxedo wearing fucks!"

They soon raised their weapons up. But just as Blitzø was about to fire, Agent Two pushed a button on her gun as he got shocked. "I'd like to see the suits at corporate call us losers now, that was pretty badass." The other agent agreed. "Super badass."
Soon enough, he passed out.

Meanwhile in Hell, Millie, with tears in her eyes, was punching the wall multiple times, but then drops to her knees. "Shit! Shit, shit, shit!" Millie wailed with her head and hands on the ground. Y/n kneels down to comfort her. "It's ok, Mills... I promise those boys will return safe and sound. I'll send somebody down there." She hugs Millie close as she cries on her shoulder. "You uh... You okay there?" Loona asks as Millie got up. "What're you doing sittin' there?! The boys are in trouble! Open it again!" She spat at Loona. Y/n gets up to defend Millie. "Yeah, Loona. You have to open that door. Your very own father is in danger!" Loona grows flustered at that. She growls but her expression begins to soften. "Look, Y/n, I can't do it alright? Blitzø was using a total of zero euphemisms, innuendos, or swears that means it was serious, which means I don't open it until-"

"OPEN THE FUCKING PORTAL NOW!" A sequence happens with the girls. Loona zips a bag labeled "Blitzø's Emergen-C Bag", an angry Millie twirls and lifts a giant double axe with the 'M' in the I.M.P, Y/n grabs a couple of her favorite weapons and stashes it in the bag. She then notices a picture of Y/n and Blitzø on their first date. She smiled softly to herself before hearing Millie shout, "Come on, Y/n! What are you waiting for?!" "Shit! My bad!" She said as she stuffed the photo in her pocket. Loona and Y/n quickly transform to their human forms as the portal opens again, Millie flips and lands in a pose while Loona and Y/n walk over the portal. "They aren't here..." Millie lets go of the axe and got to her knees again, beginning to cry, but stopped immediately as Loona lifted her up to bend down and sniff where Blitzø and Moxxie went. "It smells like they went this way. Come on, let's find the dumbass twins." Millie and Y/n slip into the backpack and Loona picks up the axe and starts running. Meanwhile, Moxxie starts waking up and starts looking around, the camera zooms out revealing that he and Blitzø are tied up. Moxxie panics and struggles to get out, while Agent Two grabs the light and pans it close to Moxxie's face. "Finally awake, huh, little fella? Your partner has been a while now." She motions to Blitzø. "Look, shitbag, it takes a lot to keep me down alright, I took a fuck ton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of. Also I've been strapped nipple first with car battery, so I- oh okay." Agent One pans the light close to Blitzø's face. "Tell us, demon scum! Who do you work for? Satan?" Agent Two grabs the light again and passes it to Agent One each question. "How did you get to our world from the afterlife?" "Why are you killing humans?" "When did you show up here?" The two agents stops passing the lights. "Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, bitch. First of all, we just woke up from a very nasty shock and I'm still fuckin' woozy, so I'm gonna request you fetch us some coffee before we into this. I mean everyone gets coffees in shitty movies with scenes like this, am I right. I want something iced, bitch. And get me another (Favorite/type/of/frappuccino) for my little honey bun as well. Mox?" Blitzø turns his head around to Moxxie. "I'll have a neopolitan cappuccino, more cappu than cino, make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk the beans won't have the right texture other wise and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup they always put 'Foxy' or 'Roxy', I hate that, If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional Misto please use soy milk with two blond shots Affogato and Ristretto. I'd also love three vanilla pumps at the very bottom. Then, add the coffee after, then-" Agent One yells. "Enough! We aren't getting your coffee!" He says as Blitzø speaks to Moxxie. "Wow, I was getting massive douche chills just there, Mox, congrats!" He said proudly as Moxxie smiles. "If we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers out of you nasty hell beasts." The agent snapped at them."When you say 'tortured' you mean physical or psychological? Physical seems counterproductive, we would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain and you have no way of knowing what was true. "-Or we might like it too much. And then you got a whole new thing to deal with." Blitzø states as Agent One questions,
"What do you mean by that?" "Oh, you're stupid, huh. I could work with stupid, Daddy Likey Dummy!" He says with jokingly tone. Moxxie squirms in his chair trying to hold back his laughter but laughs anyway. "Good one sir! 'Daddy likey'-!" He has tears in eyes as he was cut of by Agent Two. "You better stop laughin' at us!" Agent One grabs Blitzø's collar and screams at the imp's face. "Yeah! You're the one's at our mercy!" They said, trying to threaten them. "It's hard to resist, I'm really sorry. I mean considering your approach thus far, you've had us tied up here, for what, hours? And you haven't even had us confirm what exactly we are." Agent Two leans down in curiosity. "What are you?" "I'm a Virgo." Moxxie closes his eyes while saying it. Blitzø bursts out laughing. "Oh, a smart guy eh?" "One more quip out of you and we'll shut you up!" Blitzø responded, getting excited. "Ohh, getting kinky!" Both agents recoil in shock and horror.