Jess didn't want to take her hands away from her bump. The doctors had checked and seemed to think that the baby was ok...but she didn't want to believe it. They were bringing down an ultrasound to make sure. Jess however wasn't ok. X-Rays had confirmed that she had three cracked ribs and the burn was at high risk of infection.
She had been cleaned up and the wound properly dressed. However due to the open nature of the burn she needed clean dressings morning and night and check ups every five days until it was clear. More upsettingly for Jess she hadn't been able to wear a bra since the burn. She felt uncomfortable and didn't want anyone to see.
"Sweetheart you'll be ok...no one will notice." Karen stroke the stray piece of hair hanging down Jess' face behind her ear.
"Yeah right, come on Mum...everyone knows that something's happened, they'll be looking for every little detail...not to mention the fact that they're getting bigger all the time at the minute." Jess didn't want to pretend that this was all going to go away. It was quite obvious that there was tension between her and Maria, everyone had seen her leave the canteen...they weren't stupid. All it would take would be for someone to figure it out and the school would know within the hour.
"Well we will sort something out. Once you're discharged we'll go and get one of those stick on ones or something."
Jess laughed. "Thanks." She really apprectiated how much her Mum was trying to help.
"Come on Jess. They make bra's for people who've had surgery. I'm sure there'll be something that'll work."
Jess nodded. Then the nurse pushed the ultrasound through. Jess felt the butterflies return to her stomach. She had seen so many programmes where it had come to the ultrasound and they hadn't been able to find the baby...what if that happened to her. She knew that she was young, but she felt the baby growing, and it was part of her now...she was going to be a Mum.
This time Jess was expecting the cold sensation of the gel. She tried to relax but she couldn't take her eyes from the screen. Finally the nurse settled on the shape and Jess realised it was her baby. She couldn't help but cry. Her tears rolled even faster when the nurse tuned the speakers into the babies heartbeat.
"From these measurements I would say you're about 11 weeks. Does that sound right?"
Jess nodded, she had been working out her dates from the last scan and that sounded spot on. The nurse finished up and printed a picture before wheeling the equipment out of the bay.
Jess couldn't take her eyes from the scan. She kept running her finger over the small figure that was her baby. Karen stretched her arm around her daughter and pulled her in close. "I'm so proud of you Jess."
Jess sniffed. "I don't know why...I didn't tell you...and this." She lifted her arms. That was the second thing that the doctors had been talking about. They believed that due to Jess' self-harming that she should see a concellour. Jess knew that they were probably right, but she needed to think about it first.
Karen kissed her daughters head before pulling her closer. Jess could hear her Mum trying to keep back the sobs. "You have been amazing. You told me...well you told me everything, and no matter what you've stuck by your decision...how could I not be proud to have a daughter like you?"
Jess didn't say anything. She didn't know what to stay. Instead she just let herself become comfortable in her hug. There was something comforting about the smell of her Mum. While hugging her she felt safe, she felt like she belonged.
Karen looked at her watch. "Right you, the doctors have said that they can discharge you tonight, as long as I promise to do your dressing...if that's ok?"
Jess knew that Karen was asking because she wouldn't be able to wear a bra while she was doing it, but for some reason that didn't seem to bother her any more. Her Mum had seen her at her lowest, and now she felt closer to her than ever. "You know it's fine Mum...I wouldn't want anyone else doing it."
Karen nodded. "Come on then sweetie. Let's go home."
