ess stood in front of the mirror buttoning her school shirt. She reached the buttons over her bump and struggled to close them. There was no doubt that she needed some new one. She finally managed to get them closed before pulling her black jumper over the top. As she straightened it down she felt some of the buttons pop open underneath. She sighed, this was a losing battle and there was no point in trying to do them up again. Leaning across to grab her straighteners she finished her hair before putting the final touches to her simple make up. Since everyone had found out that she was pregnant she had decided to tone everything down. For so long she had made sure that every hair was perfectly in place and her make up was flawless every day. She wanted to make sure that people would look at her. Now she wanted the opposite and wanted to fade into the background. She still made sure that her hair was sorted, but her make up was minimal.
"Do you want a lift Jess?" She heard her Mum's voice coming up the stairs. Jess checked her hair again and turned off her straighteners before grabbing her bag and walking down the stairs.
Karen was stood at the bottom of the stairs waiting for Jess. Rob had decided that the best idea was for him to take the other three and stop somewhere for breakfast with him. That way Karen could go with Jess and have the chance to talk to her before they got to school. Karen had been reluctant as she didn't want to start an argument before school, but being honest with herself she knew that it was a good idea. "You ready to go sweetheart?"
Jess looked around and realised there was no one in the house. "Where is everyone?" She was pretty sure that she knew the answer before she asked the question. She had guessed that her Mum would want to talk, she just hadn't expected it to be so soon.
"They've all gone in with Rob." She paused as she picked up her laptop bag. "I thought that it would be good if we had a chance to talk before school." She looked up towards Jess. "Is that ok?" Despite wanting to talk to Jess and really hoping for some answers she still wanted to be careful. She knew that Jess was really struggling at the minute and she needed to know that they were all there for her. The last thing she needed was to feel that everyone was going against her.
Jess nodded. "Sure...as long as we can get some new school shirts at the weekend." She lifted her jumper so Karen could see the burst buttons on the strained skirt.
Karen laughed. "I think we can manage that. I guess we need to start looking at some maternity stuff..." She hoped that by dropping it in Jess wouldn't worry about it. Karen knew her daughter and knew that her weight and image was something she worried about.
"That would be cool." She smiled at her Mum, she knew that she was trying to make this as easy as possible, not simple when it was anything but a simple situation to be in. "Shall we get going then?" Jess swung her bag on to her shoulder and walked out of the front door to the car.
Karen followed locking the door behind her and getting into the drivers seat. "I know that you don't want to talk about this Jess...and I don't want to push it, but maybe it would help if..." She looked towards Jess, she could see that this was going to be hard. "I'm not going to judge you Jess...it doesn't matter to me who he is, as long as you're ok."
Jess shook her head. "You wouldn't say that if you knew..." She turned her head away. She so wanted to tell her Mum, she didn't care about anyone else, but she hated doing this to her Mum. She felt like she was protecting her.
"You can't honestly believe that. We've been through this so many times Jess, you are my daughter...and that means I love you no matter what." She took a hand from the steering wheel and put it on Jess' leg. "I mean it...no matter what."
Jess felt a tear growing in the corner of her eye. It felt like it would be so simple to tell her, it would be out in the open. "I've screwed up everything..." She dabbed her eye with the tissue. While she wasn't taking quite so much time over her appearance, the panda look didn't suit anyone.
"If you're talking about your Dad...well none of that is your fault. He's made his decisions."
"It's not that simple though is it...all of this is my fault. It's all my fault for being a selfish slag...I don't deserve you being this nice to me...you wouldn't be..." She broke off again, she needed to stop talking...they were nearly at school. She was hoping that she would be saved by the end of the journey.
"Jess I so want to help you, I know that I can't make it better...but I can try and help. I can't do anything unless you tell me...just let me in." This time it was Karen that felt her voice crack and could feel the tears filming her eyes. When she had become a Mum the one thing that Karen had been determined about was that she would always protect her children...she looked at Jess and realised that she hadn't been able to do it...she pulled the car in through the gates. "I can't make you talk to me Jess...but my doors open...and I love you." She finished the sentence before her voice could break. She didn't want Jess to see her cry.
Jess nodded and as soon as the car had stopped she got out. "I'll see you later." Jess too knew that there were tears waiting to come out. It was only as she got out of the car that she remembered she would have to face her Dad as well as the rest of the school. Jess didn't turn back towards her Mum...she couldn't face hurting her any more.
Karen sat in the car and felt the tears pour over. She sat there for a few minutes until they passed. She couldn't help but think about all the possible scenarios...or the possibilities of who the father could be...she quickly banished them from her mind. Whether she told her or not they still had to deal with Charli and Maria. Jess still needed her Mum. She wiped her face and shook her hair before getting out of the car and walking into her school.
