Dishing The Dirt: Nikki Sixx • Mötley Crüe •

Chapter 50: Feelings

It had been 2 months since mums funeral and I still hadn't been back to visit her, it was far too raw. Thankfully I'd stayed sober and I was adjusting to my new normal. I was a wreck for a while so my therapist prescribed me a new drug called Prozac to help but all it was really doing was numbing my emotions and causing me to sleep.

I'd finally moved back into the penthouse with the help of Nikki and Gloria. Everyone helped me re-decorate the entire place and choose a few new pieces of furniture. Ashley was great with that. We weren't best friends but we were still working heavily on our friendship.

I hadn't spoke to my dad or Razzle, at all. The media got wind of Sharon's pregnancy and someone was feeding the media information about mine and my dads relationship so there were all kinds of headlines flying around, Dave didn't really help with that either. He went on so many bullshit talk shows and gave interviews wherever he could. He made out that I was the problem with our relationship, he told them I was an addict and he tried to help me but I'd always get hostile towards him. I was asked to give my say on it and boy was I tempted, but I was smart. Going on the record, ranting about Dave being a liar just wasn't my thing. I always put my emotions into a song and that's what I did but I was planning on dropping it when I went on tour. I thought the song, mixed with my radio silence and the photos of me with Nikki and Razzle at my mums funeral, would hit him harder that way. It felt like the media was making me look like a complete brat, but it still didn't stop them from invading my privacy and snapping pictures anytime I left my apartment. I was just trying my best to block it out and focus on my tour.

I really wanted it to be something special. I was a little worried that all the crap that was being said in the media was going to reflect negatively on the band, especially after everything I'd already put them through, but we managed to sell out every show and even released extra dates.

It was a Wednesday night. I was at home relaxing before the tour. It was the first time I'd properly been left alone since I'd moved here and it felt a little strange. Me and Nikki were still sleeping over at each other's places, it made sense for us to move in together but, we were only dating. I was so infatuated with Nikki that I didn't want to risk ruining what we had, again.

I'd ordered a pizza and I was watching my good friend Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween while I painted my toe nails a lovely shade of midnight black. I was getting towards the part where Annie gets in the car and I was heavily invested in the movie. As I saw Michael Myers pop up in the back seat, someone started to hammer down my door.

I screamed at the top of my lungs and threw my nail polish and the brush in opposite directions but both of them landed on my new faux fur white rug. My heart was racing and I hesitantly started to head towards the door. It was completely obvious that it was the pizza guy, Nikki was at a show and everyone else was either down at the Veil or watching the guys perform, but I always got a little spooked and irrational when I watched a horror movie. I genuinely thought Michael Myers was at my front door.

I approached it slowly, picking up a shoe on my way over. I looked through the spy hole and saw...

"Sean!?" I yelled.

"What is taking you so damn long to open this god damn door!?" he said sassily as he folded his arms and dropped his hip.

"Are you alone?" I whispered.

I saw his face scrunch up. "Girl, are you back on the drugs again? Do you need me to call Nikki or something?"

I let out a sigh of relief and smirked as I swung the door open. He looked at me completely confused and looked down at my hand to see one of my Dior stiletto heels.

"I was watching Halloween" I shrugged.

He rolled his eyes and groaned. "What have I told you about watching these kinda movies by yourself!? You get so freakin' paranoid" he said as he pushed past me and let himself into my apartment.