Starry skies and Gardenias

Chapter 164

Isabella stared at him, taken aback. 

Then she turned back to the sink, finishing what she was doing. 

And her calmness in this situation drove Regulus' patience over the edge. She didn't even look guilty! She didn't show that it bothered her that he had found out something that she had tried to hide.

Did she even try to hide? Or was it that it just didn't matter to her?

Isabella walked out of the bathroom, drying her hands with her handkerchief, and closed the door slowly. 

"What are you going to tell me now?" Regulus said, his voice very quiet. 

"What? That it is not necessary? That it is not important?" he snapped. "What are you going to tell me now?" 

Isabella didn't even look him in the eyes. Regulus knew his hands were shaking, and keeping them clenched wasn't doing anything to stop him. 

He was furious. He was worried. He was crushed. He was sorry. He felt so many things at once, he didn't even know it was possible. 

"What? No excuse this time? No lie?" he said scathingly. 

"I'm—" Isabella started, but Regulus cut her off.

"Don't apologize," he said, his voice trembling. "Don't you dare apologize. Why do you keep doing this? What is it? You don't trust me?"

"You think I'll sell you off to the Dark Lord? Is that why you're doing this? Just a way to keep me in a leash?" 

"Why don't you just tell me what's wrong with you?!" Regulus bellowed. "Every damn time! Why did I have to find it out because my elf told me? Would you have told me otherwise, even?"

Isabella dropped her gaze to her feet.

Isabella didn't have any excuse. She didn't even think she deserved to look at him. She was wrong again, wasn't she? 

"Why? Why won't you just tell me? I sneak in here every single day, just so that I can keep you company, so that I know you're fine, putting my life on the line. Every damn day!"

"Why. . Why can't you just tell me?" Regulus said, his voice growing weak. 

Isabella still didn't look at him and Regulus felt like he would explode if she didn't. There was a nasty voice in the back of his head, poking and prodding at his every insecurity. 

"I'll understand," he said, his breath hitching. "So, please don't lie to me. No more excuses, please. You don't trust me, I'll understand,"

"Tell me anything, please!" Regulus cried. "Tell me that you were just doing this to be careful. Because it was just prudent. Anything,"

"I won't betray you," he said, his breath getting ragged. "I can't. You can be cautious. I don't mind. You can tell me only what you feel is necessary. But just don't play me like this,"

"I'll be your spy, I'll do anything you want," Regulus said, the pleading and desperation in his voice. 

"I'll go back to being your wildcard. One that you can just use and then throw away, I don't mind. But just tell me this honestly. What do I mean to you?"

"Because I think I'll go insane if I don't know," Regulus said. "I worry about you. Every day! And if you don't feel the same way about me, and all this is just a game to you—"