if only

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As a child she was taught to fear death. To shiver, cry and aguish in its presence. To pray the dark creatures that moved through the shadows. To shield and guard herself from whatever the night would bring. Sleep with a candle light in the hopes of wakening from a night terror to be comforted by the warm light but Joanna felt nothing of that.

The time had gone by – to the point where she didnt know how long shed been there. It could have been days, months perhaps even years. Not that it mattered- nothing mattered anymore.

She's already lost her entire will to live.

How was it possible that she was both alive and dead at the same time? Time was an abstract concept now. What was the point of living anymore? She had no country, no family, no honour and no husband.

Why should she even consider living anymore?

Joanna feared that death would be the punishment for her treason against the Lannisters but nothing could be worse than this. Living with no free will. She was wrong – so terribly wrong.

Nothing could compare to the emptiness inside her heart- his absence never left her. Every time she closed her eyes she could see flashes of their lives and the life they were meant to have but now all she could think of was his blood staining her dress as he rested in her lap – sacrificing himself to save her more than once.

Her wrist were blue and bruised from the bounds shed been chained to in her darken cell. Her skin burnt and tattered as she tried to break free. For gods know how long shed been held hostage in a castle to House Lin.

The heels clicked on the ground as her approach. Her dull and lifeless eyes looked up to see a radiant and glowing Shae Lin.

"Morning princess, I take it you've had a well-rested sleep?" She mocked the starving princess in the corners of her dark prison cell. Joanna felt beyond irritation for Shae as she looked up to spit to the ground.

"Well that's not how a lady should act. I would've thought Cersei Lannister taught you better than this." Joannas heart stung as lunged to Shae but the chain whipped her body back to collide with the cold ground.

"Oh stop, you've been at this for how long?! You should be careful Joanna." Shae crossed her arms as she disapprovingly shook her head. "After all, we dont want you to harm the baby."

There was no end to Joannas suffering. She'd been heartbroken for so long that the second she woke up in her cell she didnt care for her child. There was no more love for it without Robb.

"Why dont you just kill me? Why keep me locked away?" she spoke with no tone in her voice for the first time since the wedding. Since she screamed for her husband.

"Because I've been given a task that requires me to keep you alive." Shae retorted. She clenched her jaw as she stood back. Looking back to the other empty cells before taking a seat in front of Joanna. Joanna had no more energy left in her to fight – there was no point in fighting anymore.

"Why?" Joanna demanded again

"Your family requested that you remain alive."

"My mother."Joanna sighed as she laid back to look at the grimy ceiling "Why am I not surprised?" She turned her head back to Shae "So who was it? Im smart enough to know it couldnt have just Walder Frey and House Lin to betray us – so who else?" Though not at the best of terms Shae was still able to be impressed by her quick intellect.

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