𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫, 𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘀𝘀

𝟎𝟓𝟖

"𝚂𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚃𝚊𝚕𝚔"
ɴᴏᴀʜ
𝕥𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕕𝕒𝕪 𝕟𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥

𝐀 𝐏𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐇 to the gut from reality. That's the best way to describe exactly what I feel.

It's hard to describe what I'm feeling when I don't understand it myself. All these thoughts are swirling in my head, but none of them make sense. Each thought I have also has a contradicting thought.

Emily's flying back home at this very moment.  I want to talk to her, but the thought of hashing things out is a conversation I'm dreading to have.  Seeing as the last couple times we've tried to talk about it, I don't have particularly high hopes.

ᴊᴇꜱꜱ

"Noah?" I call her name as I notice her zoning out.

Noah and I have been sitting on my bed ever since my shift ended.  She has been following me around for the past three days like a lost puppy.  At school, she walks me to all my classes.  After school, we do our usual walk and she sticks around the bookstore.  When my shift ends, we come back to my house and do homework together until Penelope comes to pick her up.

I love having her around — don't get me wrong — but I can feel her sadness.  As much as she tries to hide it, Noah's emotions are practically written on her forehead.

"Hm?" She hums.

"Have you listened to anything I've said?" I question her.

"I listen to everything you say," She replies quickly.

She always knows exactly what to say.

"You're being uncharacteristically quiet," I state as I scoot closer to her on the bed.

"I'm just listening to you," Noah beams.

"You're nervous," I read her like a book.

"I'm...thinking about what to say to her." She replies, referring to Emily.

"Do what I told you—"

"Be honest with her while also being nice, yeah, I know." She finishes my sentence, reiterating my advice to her.

"Noah!" Mom calls from downstairs.

"Call me and tell me about it?" I offer and see her nod, "C'mere," I beckon her into my arms.

Noah sits in my hold for a moment.  Every second I think she's going to let go, she stays.

"Wish me luck," She sarcastically says and stands from my bed.

—
ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘴' 𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵

"Thanks for staying with me, P," Noah says and hugs Penelope as they sit in the blonde's car on the street.

"See you tomorrow," Penelope beams and ruffles Noah's hair as they release their embrace.

"Bye," Noah grins and gets out of the car.  She throws her bookbag over her shoulder and walks up to the front door.  She takes deep breaths, not knowing what she will be walking into when she steps foot in the apartment.

The teen opens the front door with caution.  With one last deep breath, she steps inside and softly closes the door behind her.

"Emily?" She calls out.

"Hey," Emily says as she appears from the living room, "How was your time with Penelope?"

"Good, as usual," Noah replies with a soft smile.

"Good!" Emily chimes as the teen drops her bookbag on the kitchen counter.

"I'm assuming this is the part where we talk," Noah says and peers up at Emily.

"If you're ready," Emily shrugs.  Noah nods in response and follows Emily into the living room.

At first, the two sit in silence.  Noah gets comfortable in the corner of the couch, gripping a throw pillow on her lap.  Emily sits back and waits for the teen to speak.

"Do you actually hate yourself?" Noah asks and looks into Emily's eyes, "Or did you only say that to make me talk to you?"

The first question shocks Emily.

"I regret saying that," Emily replies and watches the teen go silent once again, "But I also regret what I did.  I hate that I can't change it or make it right."

"What did you expect me to say to that?" Noah asks.

"I just wanted you to tell me how you feel."

"I feel like you dismissed me," Noah bluntly says, "You acted like you wanted me to forget everything that happened. I know it was a while ago now, but what happened to me sticks with me. I can't just forget all of it and move on."

Noah looks up at Emily and sees her listening.  She takes Emily's silence as a green light to continue.

"You don't want me to blame you for what happened to me after you left. And I get that, I really do, but the fact of the matter is that none of that would've happened if you hadn't given me up. And I'm not saying that it's your fault, but I don't understand the reaction you wanted from me."

"I didn't have a preconceived idea of what you'd think," Emily replies, "I also had no idea that any of this was gonna happen."

"Would you have rather gone on not knowing?" Noah questions her.

"No," Emily answers, shocking Noah.

"Even after all this drama I've caused?" The teen asks.

"No," Emily shrugs, "Because now I know that you're where you're supposed to be. Gia was never your home — no home would ever treat you like that."

"You're home now, Noah," Emily says and gazes into her daughter's eyes, "You're my home,"

"Why wasn't I fifteen years ago?" The teen says, trying her best to refrain from having an attitude.

"I was in a really bad place.  I didn't have the mental capacity to care for a child.  I thought I was doing what's best for you.  And I wasn't, and I understand that now, but I thought I was sure you were going into a loving home." Emily explains and Noah nods.

"I'm sorry I threw the glass," Noah apologizes as she twists the ring on her left pointer finger.

"It's okay," Emily says, "You were angry."

"I could've hurt you," Noah frowns.

"Look at me," Emily softly demands, the teen's eyes immediately finding hers, "You didn't hurt me. I'm okay."

"Do you think it'd be okay if we moved on?" The teen shyly asks, wanting so badly to hug her mother and forget all the anger.

"If you're ready, then I am too," Emily sweetly says.

"I just don't wanna be angry anymore," Noah sighs.

"Is something going on?" The mother quickly picks up on her daughter's stress.

"Nothing I can't handle on my own,"

Emily nods, trusting the teen. Emily trusts that Noah will come to her when she needs her.

"I think we need to talk about you skipping school..." Emily trails off, waiting for Noah's explanation.

"Yeah, you missed a lot when we weren't speaking."