𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐈𝐭 | 𝘏. 𝘐𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘻𝘶𝘮𝘪

𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁

"THANK YOU, I NEEDED THAT."

.*ೃ : *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: .*ೃ

as he laid dying. his mind blank, his head heavy with words, with thoughts, with stress. overwhelming thoughts, overwhelming year.

his parents never being home, feeling neglected. her parents never being home, feeling neglected.

i'm so sick of myself. afraid to fail and disappoint. if you're insecure, why do you act confident? bittersweet.

taking refuge in Y/N's bed. collecting the smell, the aroma, the atmosphere. savoring this moment where he could be himself. savoring this moment where he could let go.

calming his heart with the cold air. perfect the art of smiling, and being happy. Stop crying at some random time in the day. faking sleep for an hour, thinking Y/N would notice the tear stained satin sheet.

will she know? will she wake me up? does she know? i just need sleep, i just need rest.

breathe,

breathe,

breathe.

i'll never actually ever be yours. he thinks, he knows.

i don't push people away. i'll never change, i'll always be the same. being captain now, being on your own, owning a team. the whole process being overwhelming for Oikawa, as a whole.

being lost in the mindset of being perfect, being lost in the mindset of wanting to know what others think, needing to know what others think.

does he want to know?

does he really want to know what others think? Is it all in his mind? is he just delusional?

the weather is starting to be warm, end of august. looking over at Y/N, her still being asleep. a girl filled with so much character and love.

a girl filled with so much emotion. cuts deep as the atlantic ocean. a cold ocean, like Oikawa. he wants to be hers, but he can't. he knows that.

but in the end, she found him. knowing how he feels, knowing how he is. growing up next to him majority of her life has a lot to due with it, but it still adds something.

lost and insecure, is what he was, is what he is. the tear stained pillow covers, as he envious of her life and her happiness, he breaks, her breaths.

he knows it will get better, he knows he will get that life. he just needs to be patient. he needs time. time heals all wounds, but time moves slow.

new person. new person, same mistakes, same repeats, when is it a new beginning? when will it be a new fresh start?

shuffling in the bed starts, as creeks were also made in the bed. Y/N turns over, towards Oikawa, where once he was facing her back.

she turns around, face to face with Oikawa, looking into his deep brown eyes, showing the different pigments from the sunlight.

"good morning Oikawa." she whispers.

"good morning."

"did you sleep good?" she asked.

"yeah, that's the most sleep i've gotten in a while."

"i'm glad." she rubs her eyes, "the car got busted."

"when did i fall asleep?"

"as soon as you got here. so like 7, maybe 7:30."

"i slept for 18 hours? holy shit."

"you looked like you needed sleep, Kindaichi-Kun called you, and i answered and he said it don't come and asked what you were doing so you could do something else."

"what did you say?"

"i said you were busy."

"thank you, i needed that."

"i know."

.*ೃ : *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: .*ೃ

author note:

sorry it's so short and i haven't updated in so long ! i've been so busy with school omfg.

-S <3