"why did I did what I did? "

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ACE'S  P.O.V.

"Stop fighting it, coward."

Her words rang in my ears as I stood there in the middle of the floor shocked. How dare she talk to me like that. How dare she call me a coward? I am not a fucking coward. I will never be. I cannot be. It's not me. 

But deep down I knew she was right. She was not fooled by my tough behavior because she sees through me and yes, that makes me scared. Scared of her. Scared of what she might know. Sacred of how she will make me break those walls which were created years ago by me to protect myself. To protect me from the expectations, hopes and wishes of other people. But it all comes to a stake when she is with me. She is right about me being a coward. But I can't accept that fact.

Because if I do, then I will be back where I started. Back to the time when I was weak, broken and hurt. I don't want to be there, not now not ever.

I started walking towards the bar to have something, wanting to drink off my feelings. I don't even know what happened to me back there, why was I behaving like that? I saw her with that man and I couldn't bear it. I can't explain the feeling I had in words because it was something complicated, something which I have never felt. It was like she was not something I would like...

I mean just the sight of that man named Ezra was enough to make me want to snatch that bastard away from her. I don't even know who he was. Eva must have thought of him as my business partner but I don't even know that man. He was just there standing with the others. I was not interested him so I didn't bother to ask him about his identity. 

And why the hell did she agree to dance with him? 

But the biggest question is why did I did what I did? The answer is more complicated and entangled than the question itself. 

She looked so beautiful tonight. She was the most beautiful woman in the whole party and anyone could see it. I wanted to tell her earlier that she looked beautiful but I couldn't. The phone saved me by ringing. While I danced with her, I couldn't help but touch her soft cheeks and caress her silky skin with my hands. She is too damn irresistible for that. I was just in the moment and my actions shocked me more than it shocked her. I have never lost control before but with her I did. I couldn't hide my desire to be around her.

But as much as I wanted that, it was wrong. I can't do that. I can't be with her. This whole thing is becoming much more complicated than I thought it would be. I never thought that it would be me for whom this whole fake marriage thing would prove to be entangled. But here I am, stuck in my own feelings. 

Feelings? Heck I don't even know what feeling is.

I couldn't do this to her. I can't. I can't. She is not what I thought she was. She is different. She is nothing like I thought she is. I thought she was the one who inflicted pain but after this trip I know one thing for sure - she is a victim too. She is also taunted and punished by the chains of the past. She is also trying to heal and move on. She has scars which not everyone can see. She is like me too. Like me, her greatest fear is her past. 

It is like we are two pieces of two different broken worlds who have come together to disentangle each other's twisted lives. 

I huffed as I ordered a strong drink. I am in a strong need of it. I remember the last time I drank and what all happened but the need is too strong to resist. If  I don't drink I would never be able to keep my mind off her. I know I should be looking for her, trying to find her and apologize for....

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