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-', (chapter thirty four) ꒱ ↷🦋🥛
YOONGI'S DAY WAS ON A STRICT SCHEDULE. He'd wake up at 7, get ready for class, go to class, look at Jimin from afar, think about apologizing, doesn't do that, and then goes back to his dorm to study. Rinse and repeat.
It was a tiring schedule, especially the part when it comes to Jimin. He missed the man and really wanted to apologize to him. He wanted to kiss him again, but he couldn't.
Yoongi had talked to his parents the other day and they had gone on about Trump, their idiot president, who they had disappointedly voted on.
His parents were conservative, the bigoted kind. They had long expressed their disgust for the LGBTQ community. That it was unnatural and a crime against God. They were livid when it was made legal to marry someone of the same sex.
Yoongi's always been a little fearful of his parents. They were strict and expected Yoongi to be exactly what they wanted him to be. Along with his brothers. They wanted them to have good, high-paying jobs, to share their political views all the same.
Yoongi believed what they told him when he was young because what else was he supposed to believe. That's all he's been surrounded by at the time. It made him a very mean and judgemental child.
But as he grew older, he learned better, that his words hurt people, that they make people feel bad, and that it makes him unlikeable. Yoongi liked to think that he had changed for the better, that he's grown to be more accepting of other people.
But all he can think about is Jimin crying, screaming at him.
"Are you not gay or is that your internalized homophobia talking?!"
Maybe he hadn't changed as much as he thought he had. There was still that small part of him that judged, mostly himself. Those words gave Yoongi a lot to reflect on, a lot to think about. He wanted to be better but he didn't know how, where to begin.
Yoongi sighed as he walked down the sidewalk, trying to figure out where Hoseok had gone. He was tired, just getting out of class when Hoseok began dragging him all around the city. He should've just stayed home.
He reasoned that he'd grab a cup of coffee before he got there. Hoseok could wait a little longer. There was a cafe just up the street, one he's never been to before but he never gets anything special, just coffee with some creamer.
So Yoongi made his way into the cafe, pushing open the door and listening as the bell above the door rang. He felt the warm air surround his body and the smell of coffee brewing and Expresso beans fill his nose.
He shuffled his way in line and spent his time texting Hoseok.
