our little secret | sapnap x reader fanfiction

.31. another visitor

I still can't believe Nick showed up at my work yesterday to announce his love to me. That is just ridiculous in my mind. I don't understand what could've possibly been going through his mind in that moment.

He can't just do that and expect me to come running back, and, even if I did, then he'd have to understand it's not going to be the same way that it was last time. We would have to fix some things before we started dating.

A knock on the door jolts me from my thought process. I set my computer down and leave my spot on the couch. 

I open the door to see a familiar tall blonde that I haven't seen in a very long time.

We just stand there in awkward silence as I try to soak in his presence. I feel like I've almost forgotten what he's looked like.

Has he always been that tall? Have his eyes always been that green? Did he get a different hair style?

The only thing I'm not questioning is that I never realized how much I missed him until this very moment.

"Can I come in?" he asks to break the silence.

"Depends," I say, "you still mad?"

"Sometimes," he says honestly, "but most of the time, no."

I open the door wider. I nod my head to tell him to come inside.

He awkwardly walks by.

"I have to ask," I say, "what is up with you boys and showing up in my life the past twenty-four hours?"

"Nick was here?" he asks, his voice sounds as if I confirmed some preexisting suspicions. "I knew that's where he went last night," he mutters.

I sigh, secretly hoping that didn't just cause any problems. "What do you want Clay?"

"I want to apologize," he says, "for getting so mad at you. It was a dick move, and I'm really sorry."

I give him a half smile, "Well, that's very big of you."

He sighs. Oh gosh there's more.

"I also know that Nick was here to ask for you back, and I thought that that would be okay with me," he scratches the back of his head. "And it is. I just wanted to get some things off my chest before you chose him."

Don't do this, Clay. Don't do what I think you're about to do.

"When I found out that you guys were dating behind my back," he begins, "I was so pissed. I was beyond angry with both of you, and I understand that I overstepped some boundaries." he takes a step forward, "But I had some underlying reasons for that,"

"Just spit it out, Clay." I say, wanting to get this part over with.

"Okay, I came here to apologize. And I meant all of that and more, but I wanted to tell you that" he says before taking a deep breath, "I think I love you. I know we're friends, and it sucks, but I had to tell you before you choose him."

What is up with these boys and showing up in my life to declare their love?

"Clay," I say softly, shaking my head. "You don't love me. You love the idea of me. You like the idea of you falling for your best friend and having me all to yourself, but I don't think love necessarily describes it."

"But that's the thing," he says, "I've known about my feelings for longer than you think. I've known since our junior prom in high school. We went as friends, remember? And you wore the silky green dress because it was my favorite color," he says quickly, trying to convince me, "Ever since you walked down those stairs, I've known that you were someone special, and that I wanted you in my life for a long time."

I continue to shake my head. "You can't love someone because they wore your favorite color, Clay. That would be irrational. You just knew we would be friends for a long time. Deep down you have to know we would never work as more than friends, especially now that Nick is around."

He looks at the floor. "If that's how you feel, then okay."

We're quiet for a bit before he breaks the silence. "Can I just say something?"

"If you want," I say with a shrug.

"I know I'm out of the running for sure now, and I don't know how your conversation with Nick went." He takes a deep breath. "But if you want to date him, then you can, just let me know this time."

I laugh a little.

"He cares about you," Clay says, "he really does. When you broke up and we went to London, he was a mess. I mean he couldn't even get shoes to match. I know things ended badly, which is my fault, but don't count him out because of me. You are an adult, so you can make your own decisions. Don't let me be the reason you hold yourself back from something that could be great."

I give him a half smile, "Thanks, that really means a lot."

"Yeah, well I want you to be happy," he shrugs, "and if Nick makes you happy, then I'm not stopping you."

We're quiet for a moment.

"I'm gonna go," he points towards the door.

He starts to walk towards the door. I watch as his hand reaches for the doorknob.

I've missed him. He's my best friend, even if we haven't talked in a while.

Yes, he just declared his love to me or whatever, but that shouldn't stop us from being friends. It might take time, but I believe that we could come back even stronger.

"Wait," I say as he starts to open the door.

"Yeah?" He asks, turning towards me.

"Would you maybe want to be friends again?" I ask quietly, really just hoping he would say yes.

He gives me a smile. "I would love to,"

.author's note.

i saw some people who guessed his feelings, but there weren't as many as i thought there might be.

i hope i semi-surprised at least one person with that haha

anyways i hope you guys are enjoying... tomorrow we're going to take a look at some things in the past to put some stuff into perspective ;)

ALSO TWO MORE DAYS UNTIL MY 'IT STARTED WITH A RAID WAR' (QUACKITY X READER) SEQUEL COMES OUT!! I THINK YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO LOVE/HATE ME FOR THAT ONE!!

have a great day :))

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