How's the weather?

Chapter Seventeen.

TW: This chapter contains drug use, ifnyou are triggered by that you can skip the chapter.

Katya hadn't been to school for a few days, staying in her dark bedroom. She didn't shower in those days either. She couldn't find the motivation to do the things she did on a daily basis. Katya heard Bob coming to her house yesterday, knocking on the door and asking her parents if she's okay. They answered that Katya was sick and that the doctor gave me a few days at home. Katya also heard Violet and she got the same response from Katya's parents. Katya was being so isolated by other people that she started to isolate herself. They wouldn't come back after this anyway. Trixie would probably tell her to fuck off as well as Violet. Bob would be angry but also will accept an explanation and apology. Adore would try to hide the fact that she is angry but eventually would ask for an explanation and then help Katya, Katya hoped so.
It was a Tuesday afternoon and Katya decided to get out of her room. Grabbing her cigarettes and lighter.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"For a smoke dad, won't be long. Trixie doesn't even like me anymore anyway"
Katya didn't wait for an answer and opened the door.

Katya got out of the house in her loose white pijama pants, black tank top and a bun messed up from her staying in her bed all day. Katya walked forwa and sat on the edge of the sidewalk. Placed one cigarette on her mouth and lit it up, protecting it from the wind with one hand. She saw the cars passing by, the flowers starting to flourish, the butterflies dancing in the air. She was so lucky and she didn't even know. Katya didn't even know that from one day to another she'd be isolating from her friends, prohibited from having a girlfriend and threatened by her rapist. Katya started to get nervous. Where will all of this end up? What the fuck was Katya supposed to do when this ended? She threw out the butt of the cigarette and grabbed another one, lit it up.

"Nervous?" the voice she craved said

"Trixie you really can't be here right now" Katya looked at the sides frantically, searching from Brian.

"I'm worried" Trixie said from behind here, Katya not daring to look at Trixie.

"Be worried somewhere else" Katya had to do this for her own sake.

"what the fuck Katya"

"what? Don't you hear me?" Katya voice got a bit violent.

"Katya you're scaring me"

"I'm not on drugs so don't tell Violet that" Katya scoffed "Just shut up" Katya looked at Trixie. "You should leave for you sake and my sake Trix"

"I'm confused"

"Figure it out, now leave"

"Kat- I-"

"Just leave Trixie"

"I love you" Trixie said and stood for a few seconds, expecting an answer. "Fuck off Katya"

Katya took another cigarette and lit it up.

"You don't even care"

Katya was thinking at how Brian could be here at any time.

"I never thought I would get something like this from you" Trixie voice broke a bit "Could you just fucking look at me for once."

Katya didn't want to, first she looked a mess, clearly not okay. Second she could handle to look at Trixie and not cry. But she did anyway. Trixie face softened up a bit when she first saw Katya, but it went back to anger immediately.

"I thought you loved me Katya"

"Oh don't be ridiculous" Katya was angry too.

"me? I'm ridiculous" Trixie raised her voice.

"Could you not scream for once? your voice is so annoying when you scream"

"I thought you loved my voice"

"you think a lot of things don't you" Katya was hurting Trixie with anger that she had for herself. "This would have never worked either way Trixie"

"why"

"Cause I'm shit, I'm total shit, and this is not to make myself look a victim. I'm an asshole. But I'm not sorry"

"Why are you not sorry"

"I can't tell you why"

"Katya you shared everything with me"

"Well we all have limits don't we?"

"Why won't you let me near you Katya it's all I want. I wanna take care of you and you don't let me!" Trixie gestured her frustration with her arms and hands.

"I don't deserve it" Katya turned around again and kept on smoking her cigarette. "Now go away"

"Bu-"

"Leave me alone. I don't wanna see you. Go"

"Deal." Trixie turned around and left.

Katya was panicking inside, she hated herself for this. She hated everything and everyone around her right now. She needed something stronger. She needed something distracting. She couldn't handle being this conscious while doing this. She stood up and went into her house again. Up the stairs and quietly into her parents bedroom.
Katya searched under the bed, in the drawers, almost everywhere until she found her phone. Desperate with shaky hands and exalted breath she searched in her blocked contacts and unblocked one of them.

Katya

Hey, are you still selling?

-

02:46 a.m

Katya threw on a coat and went to her backyard. A plastic little clear bag with 5 pills and a few cigarettes left in hand. She started with a cigarette, put music on her phone with her headphones. She took one of the pills.
After a few minutes she felt her heart beat faster and her back sweat a bit. She felt her head get lighter. She wanted to move, she wanted to be at the party she used to be at when she was younger. jumping and dancing. Remembered how great she felt. She remembered how great she is.
She's the fucking best. She can skip class but she will pass because she fucking smart. She can do what she wants and it'll get her fucking way.

Katya stood up and turned the volume all the way up. She danced to the music, it was like she was back at those parties. She smiled, she was feeling the best she ever did in a long time. She wanted to do everything at once. She wanted to go out running, dance, do all her homework, talk to Trixie and sing all at the same time. She went through her chats while dancing.

"Katya?"

"Hi!"

"Why do you wanna talk to me now?"

"Because I want to do it now"

"You can't just do that"

"Watch me do it Barbie. I will do it. In fact I always do it. And everything goes my way!" Katya took a cigarette in her hand.

"Call me when you stop being stupid."

Trixie ended the call and laid back in bed. She really didn't liked to be woken up by a egocentric and selfish Katya but it's what she gets. She opened her chats and clicked on the most recent one.

Trixie

She just called me.

Just saying dumb shit

About how she could do whatever she wants and it goes her way.

I hope whatever this is goes away soon.

Violet

I'll ask her what's going on