Angels | Ghosts Of The Past 2 [BoyxBoy] ✓

33. Family

Chase.

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I'm on constant suicide watch now. I don't get to be alone in my room. I don't get to use my phone. There's always someone with me and I'm not allowed outside except for in the garden. Which has a fence. Ever since I told Dad and Loren about Sky they've been watching me like I'm some broken victim. Ever since I told them about Kev actually. But this made it worse. They seem to think Sky groomed me and then took advantage of me and that's why I met up with Kev. As a coping mechanism. It's all just so exhausting. Why is everyone deciding that for me? 

I haven't spoken to Sky in days and I hate it. I feel so fucking guilty for what my family did to him. They've got it all wrong but they don't wanna listen to me. Loren wants Rose to be taken away from him which is terrible. Because I'm pretty sure she's the only thing keeping him sane right now, apart from Aron. I hope he is sane. I hope he's okay. Dad and Sky really were like father and son. His own father betrayed him. So now he really has no father. I'm so worried about him.

I begged my dad not to tell mom about what happened with me and Sky. Thankfully he agreed with me. I'm also not going to therapy anymore despite what everyone wants. I've been in therapy since my suicide attempt two years ago and it has done nothing for me. I hate my therapist and I honestly think therapy is a load of crap. Other people observing you. Telling you what's right in life. It's hilariously ironic cause those people make mistakes too. Those people are just as imperfect as you are. What gives them the right to lecture you on what to do? One time Dr. Lewis was lecturing me about health. It's not healthy to cut, blah, blah, blah. But before that session I saw him smoking a fat cigarette outside. It's hypocritical.

Thankfully my dad complied. I get to stay home. I have to do all my homework still and guess what: I suck at it. I'm 100% failing this year.

And honestly... I couldn't care less.

Loren, dad and I are all collected around the kitchen. Dad's putting away the groceries while talking to Loren.

"Well, first we need to get a lawyer. I think we might be able to use what happened with Chase as proof he is an unfit parent." Loren says to dad.

"Are you fucking kidding me?! He did not rape me! And he's a great father!" I defend Sky.

"Stay out of this, Chase." Loren dismisses me like it doesn't matter what I have to say.

"This is not fair! You can't do this to him! He would never hurt Rose!"

"I thought he would never hurt you, but he did that!"

"He did not! How many fucking times do I have to tell you!" I looks deep into her eyes.

"Loren, do you seriously believe he would do anything to hurt Rosalie?"

She looks away.

"Look, I get that you're angry but he's not what you're saying he is! The only mistake he made that night was cheating on you!"

She refuses to look at me.

"And I wanted him, Loren. I wanted to have sex with him and I did. If there's anyone to blame it's me, I'm your brother and I betrayed you!"

"I am mad at you!" She screams. Her eyes blazing with anger. "I can't believe my own brother would stab me in the back like that! You knew how much I liked him! How could you do that?"

Finally something that makes sense. I want her to yell at me. I want her to hit me if it makes her feel better. With every yell a bit of guilt falls off my shoulder.

"I was selfish. I was only thinking of what I wanted."

Loren turns away again. "I wish I could hate him. And only blame him. But I'm more mad at you than I am at him. Because you were supposed to have my back. I was supposed to be able to trust you blind."