Angels | Ghosts Of The Past 2 [BoyxBoy] ✓

42. Prayer

Chase.

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I struggle to adjust my tie for church. I hate ties. I'm so bad at this. And my hands are shaking cause I'm finally going to spend one on one time with my mom again and she might just talk to me like I'm a normal human again and I'm not ready for it. I'm so nervous. Are we gonna talk? What would we talk about? Should I tell her I'm gay? Will she be mad at me? Scream at me? I don't know.

"Fuck!" I exclaim after messing up my tie for the fourth time. 

"What's wrong?" Loren comes into the room. 

"You're supposed to knock." I sigh, letting go of the tie. 

Loren laughs as she lays eyes on the mess around my neck. She comes up and fixes it for me. 

"You're nervous, aren't you?" 

"Do you think mom will talk to me like I'm her son instead of a stranger?" 

"I don't know."

"Loren! You're supposed to say: of course she will; you're her son!" 

"Yeah, except, I don't know that. She's dealing with things the best she can. All you can do is try to explain things to her. How she responds is not in your control." 

"Okay, yoda. Jeez, where did you get all that from?" 

"Stoicism. Look it up." She pulls away. "Look at you! You look so handsome!"

"I don't want my sister saying that to me." I shake my head.

Loren laughs and heads for the door. "Relax, Chase. She may not respond how you want her to but one thing is for sure: She'll always be your mom and she'll always love you." She smiles at me.

Surprisingly that does make me feel kind of better. 

"Thanks, sis." 

"Good luck!" She heads out the room. 

I take a deep breath and follow after her. 

× × ×

I'm in the car with my mom now and it's painfully quiet. I don't know what to say to her. And I don't think this is the time to come out to her either. 

"Today's service is going to be about mistakes and forgiveness. It might teach us a lot." She chuckles. 

Is that her way of saying she's sorry? That she understands me and wants me to forgive her? 

"Yeah." I peer over at her. She grants me a warm smile. 

My mom is never too good at apologizing so this might be the best she can do. I'm kind of happy. I wasn't sure what was in store for me today but it seems only good things. 

"I'm excited." I say happily. 

"Good. Me too." 

We pull up at the large stunning church. 'St. Michaels Church' it says on the sign.

We get out of the car and walk into the building. Mom grabs my hand and it makes me feel at ease. She hasn't gone near in me in weeks. I know I should be embarrassed or whatever but I don't care what other people think. In fact, I'm kind of proud my mom and I are doing better.

We take a seat in one of the pews in the front. Mom says hello to a bunch of fellow church goers she knows. 

"Chase! I haven't seen you here in ages!" One of my mom's church friends beams. 

"Yeah.. I've been so busy." I chuckle. 

"I totally understand. Well, good for you, making some time to spend with the lord." She smiles.