A Catboy's First and Only Love: A Kyohru Fanfiction

I Hate Everything About Even Myself

Kyo did see reason in what Hikari was saying but stayed fixated on his thoughts about whether or not he actually deserved Tohru.

Kyo Sohma: You talk pretty to me, witch girl, but you fail miserably to understand the full reason why I don't deserve Tohru. Her mom's dying words to me were that she won't ever forgive me for letting her die the way I did. I have enough cat-like reflexes and martial arts skills to have been able to save her from that, but I didn't use them at all. I just let the whole thing happen.

Hikari was genuinely shocked by Kyo's explanation as why he was firm in his beliefs that he didn't deserve Tohru and that she could actually do better than him, although her shock did not show all that much on the surface. It was more like the kind of shock that can only be felt but not seen.

Kyo was breathing heavily after explaining his firmest belief about him not deserving even Tohru's friendship, at all. But, Hikari was not being sold on the justification of Kyo's self-depreciation issues which he was selling. So, she decided to try harder to get him to acknowledge himself in a better light, like Tohru and Master Kazuma did; like Kyoko Honda once did.

Hikari Anaishia/Sohma: You, sir, need to stop beating yourself up about what you failed to do and focus on what you're doing now. You can't change the past. It's already happened, case closed, end of story. But, you can indulge the present, and you can look to better yourself for a future in which you don't actually know what awaits you.

Kyo Sohma: Oh, I know my future, alright. It's being sent to that confined room in darkest corners of the Sohma Estate's grounds the minute I'm done with high school until I'm dead.

Hikari Anaishia/Sohma: You don't know that to be your future for certain. You can't predict it, at all. You can only try to believe in it. To trust that your life will work out for the better in the long run.

Kyo Sohma: Says the sorceress who actually thought that casting the zodiac curse on the Sohmas in first place would release her from her responsibilities as its guardian. Face the facts, will you, witch girl? There is no way for the curse to ever come to end. It'll last forever, just like it always has. You know this better than anyone. You've been forced to live through all of these lifetimes in which it's been intact. So, don't you dare talk to me like you and I have any right to hope it'll get better than it is now.

Kyo lashed out Hikari with a furious frown at first, which then turned into a cruel smirk when he mentioned the idea of hope to her.