On The Other Side Of The Wall {Sapnap x Reader}

☄*ೃ Forty-Six ☄*ೃ

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Y/n Pov:

My feet felt heavy as if they were one with the stone that the staircase had been made out of. Each step was exhausting as my chest tightened, struggling to breathe. Not from the number of stairs I needed to climb, well partially for that reason, but mainly from the anxiety welling inside of my chest. The echo of each step I took surrounded me, feeling like the walls were mocking my hesitancy.

I reached one hand out to the wall to keep my balance through the nauseating feeling of a seemingly never-ending staircase. The flickering light of the torches lit the path as the lights from Pogtopia disappeared below. The narrow path seemed suffocating, as I closed my eyes and let myself lean against the wall for support taking a moment in an attempt to catch my breath and calm my nerves.

It's not much further, just take deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out.

I opened my eyes again, my fingers clenching tighter around the trident in my hand, as I used my free hand to push myself away from the wall and continue up the stairs. At some point I began to use the trident as support for the steps, I hadn't even realized I was doing it until I saw the glow of sunshine leaking into the tunnel. I felt my face lift into a more excited expression, as the thought of getting out of the claustrophobic staircase briefly overtook the anxiety about returning to Manberg.

I burst out from the staircase into the dirt shack at the top, seeing the sunlight coming in through the windows in the door. The journey up the staircase felt longer than it had ever felt before, although I assumed it was due to the fact that I was dreading what would await when I reached the top. The relief quickly died down as a pit formed in my stomach.

I went over the things Wilbur had told me to do in my head as I worked up the courage to actually leave the shack. Though I found it a bit frustrating that he wasn't too specific in his instructions, all he wanted was for me to recruit Tubbo to our side, which I figured wouldn't be too difficult, and bring back any information that may help us overthrow this new president.

I spent so long in the past, yearning to return to see all my friends, and see Sapnap again, but now that I actually had to, I found myself unable to even make it out of the door. My heart was pounding as I took several small steps towards the wooden door, my shaking hand reaching out to grab the handle. I took a shaky breath before finally convincing myself to turn the handle and pull the door open.

I stepped out into the fresh air, hearing that rustling of the trees' leaves. My hand ran across the patterns engraved in the staff of the trident as I found a comfortable spot to hold onto it while I began to travel in the direction of Manberg and the Greater Dream SMP.

I glanced up at the sky between the trees, there were only a couple of clouds and the sun was nearing its peak in the blue atmosphere. I couldn't help but let my thoughts wonder into what Manberg held in store for me. Part of me wondered what I would do if I found it to be better than L'Manburg had been, and I wondered about the people who now lived there. I knew I shouldn't get attached, not to the buildings or the land or the people, because I knew, in the end, I would have to betray them.

Though, I suppose it would be a good thing if all of the people there were terrible, that way it wouldn't be as hard for me to help take down their government. Although, I knew it most likely wasn't going to be the case, as the only two people there that I know are two of the best people I have ever met.

That led me down a completely separate train of thought as I walked through the forest. The fear of not knowing what to do if Tubbo decided not to help Pogtopia, from what Wilbur said, Tubbo seems to be in an important position in Manberg, although I wasn't paying enough attention to really know what his job was. Will and Tommy seemed sure he would be more than happy to join the revolution, but I can't help but worry that he'll decline the offer and inform the new president about our plans.

I recalled Wilbur saying not to let Fundy know of our intentions and play it off as if I thought it was the time to return. I figured they weren't on the best of terms since I left, although I found it hard to imagine Fundy doing something to hurt those that he was once close to. I had to admit, however, that some people change, and if Wilbur said not to trust him, it would be for the best to listen to him.

In a moment of peace from my thoughts about Tubbo and Fundy, my mind couldn't help but wander towards the thought of the one reason I wished to return so badly. Sapnap. I had done my best not to think about the raven-haired boy while I was gone, but in every silent moment, he always seemed to slip into my thoughts. Every time I would think of him, I would miss him more and more, I often wondered if he had the same thoughts occupying his mind.

I often had the reoccurring thoughts trying to convince me that it's been too long and he's moved on, but then I remember the night that I left, the spark of electricity as our lips met each other. Then, I'm sure he has been waiting for me, just the same as I have been waiting to finally be able to return.

I hadn't even realized how close I was to my destination until I reached the top of a familiar hill and saw the lights of the country below. The first thing I noticed was the lack of walls surrounding Manberg, and I couldn't help but wonder whether my house was still there. With a newfound excitement, I rushed towards the nation, trident in hand as my worries washed away, being replaced by a strange feeling of nostalgia.

I slowed my pace as I walked into the area, glancing around at all the new buildings and people I've never seen before. I felt a mix of familiarity and strangeness from how much had been changed. I stared in amazement, my gaze traveling between the buildings and people before a certain voice caught my attention.

"Y/n?"

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A/n: so uh, hey guys, it's been a while. I want to apologize for not being able to post chapters I've been so busy and haven't had even five minutes of free time. I spent it all either at rehearsals or studying for midterms, which happened to be the same week as tech week, which was insanely exhausting. I have a couple of days off for the holidays and then next week we're getting into rehearsals for our next show. I can't make any promises on a perfect schedule for the next couple of months, but I will do my best to get chapters out whenever I can, for both of my books.

Have happy holidays to those that celebrate, and please take care of yourselves. You deserve it, even when things get rough, you'll make it out. I love you all (/p) more than you understand. <3333