boys //ziam

chapter sixty-nine

jordan felt uncomfortable and weird as he watched his mother that doesn't remember him get prepped for an mri scan. zayn looks scared, he holds on to jordan's hand as they prepare the machine.

"do you really not remember me?" jordan asks, he already knows the answer to that but he still finds it a bit hard to believe.

"you're supposed to be the baby in my stomach," zayn shakes his head. "this is all wrong. i don't want a daughter."

"you did want a daughter. you wanted a change from us boys," jordan says. he heard the doctor talk about how letting him know about what had occurred presently might help him get his memory back.

"boys? you mean i have another son?" zayn asks, surprised.

"you have three other boys aside from me," jordan answers.

"fúck," zayn swears. "are they also javier's?"

"no, i'm the only child you had with javier," jordan says. "and javier isn't a good person. he was never in my life and he also abused you."

zayn looks down and stares at his hands.

"he didn't mean it," zayn says.

"what?"

"he... he's just in so much pain. but i know he loves me," zayn says. "or he loved me. i don't know anymore, this current time is confusing."

"you have memories of him abusing you? and you were pregnant with me but you still stayed with him?" jordan asks, anger coursing through him. "what is wrong with you?"

"you wouldn't understand," zayn shakes his head. "javier has done so much for me. and he lost everyone he loves. i'm all that he's got."

"i'm seventeen too. so your age is no excuse on how fúcking stupid you were,"

"i don't care if you think i'm stupid. i won't give up on him, and after i leave this hospital i'm going to find him,"

"and then what? it's been seventeen years! you have a whole family! he wouldn't even want you back,"

"javier and i made a pact. that no matter what, we'd always be there for each other,"

at this moment zayn is taken away by the doctor to the mri machine. so jordan is left alone to his thoughts.

he couldn't have imagined that his mom was like this when he was his age. chasing after an abusive man. it kind of gives jordan hope, because he already knows how the story ends. at some point his mom developed the courage to know the right thing to do and he left javier.

sometimes jordan feels stupid because he doesn't know the right thing to do or what decision to make. he knows his case is nothing compared to what his mom had to go through.

but his mom turned out well regardless. he was able to move on, and he has a family and he seems happy (well before the whole kidnapping incident happened).

if his mom was able to turn out well then it gives him hope. maybe things would be better for him after all.

when zayn comes back, most of jordan's anger had died out.

"why did you ask me to come with you and not zayaad?"

"and listen to him call me useless for the second time? no thanks," zayn replies. "also, i wanted to apologize."

"for?"

"saying you looked like a less hotter version of javier," zayn replies.

"oh, let's just forget about that," jordan let's out a forced laugh.