boys //ziam

chapter seventy-five

the next morning, liam wakes up feeling more relaxed than he's been for a while. he sees a sleeping zayn next to him, and smiles. he runs his hands through his husband's hair. it's gotten so long, zayn hasn't had a haircut in forever. liam likes it when his hair is long, but zayn doesn't. he'll probably have to take him to the salon soon, or better yet, cut it himself. he prefers the latter, he's gotten good at styling zayn's hair in their sixteen years of being together.

zayn turns and twirls in his sleep. he's waking up. he yawns, stretching his arms and turning. after three rounds of having sex, they both got knocked out. liam can't believe that they've been asleep for over ten hours. he didn't even check up on the kids, but he knows they're fine. he has to remind himself that they're old enough to look out for themselves.

zayn opens his eyes, and looks at liam.

"um, hi," zayn says.

"zayn?" liam frowns. the way zayn is looking at him is completely different from how he looked at him last night.

"yes?" the way he answers and looks at him makes liam know instantly.

"you're not zayn," liam gets up on his feet. his chest hurts. "you're not- you're back to being him, why? you got your memories back, i don't understand zayn, you got your memories back, didn't you?"

"i didn't, i'm sorry," zayn shakes his head, looking down on his fingers in guilt.

"you lied to me," liam says.

"i didn't lie," zayn denies.

"you deceived me. you knew i thought you got them back, and yet- why? why did you kiss me? do you enjoy the way i've been suffering the past few weeks? did you purposely want to bring my hopes up so you can shatter them all over again? i know i'm not javier, but do you hate me that much?"

"no! of course not. i'm sorry,"

"why?"

"i don't know, i just wanted to kiss you. i wanted to be with you. i knew you would have stopped touching me if i had told you that i didn't get my memories back."

"of course i would have stopped touching you! you're fúcking mentally seventeen. god, what have you made me do?"

"liam, you're making this more complicated than it should. my body remembers you, aren't you happy we're making progress?"

"you know what? i'm done. i'm done with this. i understand why zayaad wanted nothing to do with you. you can have the bedroom, i'll find somewhere else to sleep in."

"liam..." zayn calls out his name, but liam leaves. slamming his door.

on the other side of the door, liam sits on the floor. his hands are shaking, he can't even describe his emotions. how could zayn do that to him? he knows how much he wanted him to get his memories back, but yet, he pretended. he knew he didn't get them back but he acted like he did just to get liam to fúck him. and liam feels sick too.

zayn is mentally seventeen and he's a man in his thirties. zayn is mentally jordan's age. and he had sex with him. he feels like throwing up, he runs to the other bathroom in his house and empties his guts.

he wipes his face with water when he's done. he looks at himself in the mirror, his eyes are sunken and he has dark circles. he's never been this stressed before and it's all thanks to zayn. he knows it isn't his fault, but he isn't making it easier for liam at all.

he walks out of the bathroom. he sees theo coming out of his room.

"uh, hey, liam," theo says. liam's mood instantly improves. he's been staying in the same house with all his kids but he just realized that he hasn't even had a normal conversation with them for a long time. "are you okay?"