Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
chapter twelve
i've only ever kissed one boy in my life. his name was taeyeon, and he always smelt like apples. i adored taeyeon.
we were sitting underneath the slide at lunchtime when we were both eight years old, and he connected his chapped lips with mine. i declared it the best moment of my life for a while. i was confused, since i hadn't known that he had liked me, but nothing in the world could probably confuse me more than this right now.
unless it's the explanation on how wifi works.
soft. soft. and soft. apart from the sudden furrow of my brows and inflammation of my cheeks all i can think about is the fact that they're soft.
his lips. the parted, plush and pink against the moonlight lips.
it's a peck. nothing more than a brush of skin, nothing less. but that's purely because we both pull away as abruptly as possible.
a small part of me wished it could've lasted longer, even a part of a second longer. but the more dominant part of me wants to leave, which i will in a moment.
neither of us know what to say.
"either i'm extremely drunk and gone insane that i've started to imagine things, or you just kissed me" i can't bring myself to meet his eyes.
"y/n i-"
"i have to go" i cut him off before he can say anything further, and walk towards the direction where the bear i had hoped would sweep me away lays.
-
my mother approaches me as i sip on hangover soup, head resting in my hands. i'm so desperately trying to push yesterday out of my head, because surprisingly i remember every single damn thing.
"i'm not even going to ask" i watch as she pours herself a cup of coffee, before sitting down on her own stool right next to me.
"you aren't?" she shakes her head. "nope, i trust you. more than i probably should" i chuckle.
"well was it at least fun? anything particularly eventful happen?"
oh boy was last night eventful.
"no, not much. but i do think that was the last of my partying" i tell her, being completely honest. "why not?"
"i guess it's just not me, i'd very much rather to steer away from the crowded social gatherings and chill on my own."
"alone?" i nod. "whatever you want" she sighs, rising to her feet.
"have you heard anything from S.A.A?" (seoul art academy)
"i haven't reapplied in a while" i shrug carelessly. "don't tell me you're thinking of giving up" her voice softens.
"it's getting draining, mom. i'll submit art piece after art piece but they're just not good enough"
"well then they're blind. every single one of them. you've got the best art i've seen. you're amazing!"
"you have to say that, you're my mother" a smile forms at my lips before i sip on some more soup.
"i do not!"
"i'm saying it because i believe it" she presses a kiss against my temple before walking out of the kitchen whilst humming.
"maybe you should do some more art today, to take your mind off things. it always works for you" i furrow my brows at her words.
"how do you know i have things?"
"i know you, silly!"
i get rid of the soup and head to the art room.
felix sends me a gif of a headless chicken running around as i draw something, anything, the first thing that comes to mind as the pencil connects with the paper.
and the next thing i know i've drawn hyunjin.
this is much better than most of my work, why? i pictured him in my mind, which i tend to do a lot, and drew what i saw. and it looks like him. i rip it out of the book, about to squeeze it into a paper-ball. but then i don't. i place it back into the book and shut it tight.
