Harry Potter's Twin Sister

Midnight Miseries

Hazel felt numb. It was 12:30 at night and despite being in a castle filled with almost a thousand people, she felt more alone than she thought was possible. Just a few hours ago she had been crying her eyes out on her bedroom floor, and now here she was in bed, wondering if she was ever going to be happy again. Everything had been so perfect just a few days ago. Dumbledore had returned and kicked out Umbridge from his office, demoting her back to being simply the DADA professor. He had chastised her for her Inquisitorial Squad too, and had forced her to break it up, meaning that Hazel and Draco had more time to spend with each other.

Oh gods, how her stomach lurched at the thought of him. She felt her eyes prickling once again, and gave out a huff of laughter at her own sensitivity. She never thought she could be one of those girls who cried on and on for days when their silly little boyfriend did something wrong, but evidently she had been wrong. 

Shit, he wasn't even my boyfriend, she thought despondently. He was just my sneaky link. 

She tormented herself with the thought that she was nothing more than just another girl to him. She thought their friendship had meant something, but obviously she was wrong. He was only paying attention to her because he wanted to sleep with her, and now that he had done that, he had grown bored and dumped her for the next set of fluttering eyelashes. All he was after was the chase.

That wasn't the truth, of course, but she didn't know that.

So, she continued to lie on her bed in misery until the air grew so heavy that she thought she would suffocate if she didn't get up and do something. Huffing loudly, knowing that her dorm mates were soundly asleep, she rolled out of bed and slipped her dressing gown over her PJs and pulled some slippers onto her feet. Not bothering to be quiet or sneaky about it, she left the Hufflepuff quarters and mindlessly stomped down the school's corridors. She reached the T junction that connected the rest of the school to the Hufflepuff and Slytherin sectors, and for a second she considered breaking into Draco's room. She didn't know what she wanted more, to hit him or hug him. She longed for him terribly, but with a start she imagined him curled up in some girl's bed.

Who knows, she thought. Who knows if I really knew him? Maybe everyone else was right, maybe he's really just a prick.

She stomped determinedly up the stairs away from both the Hufflepuff and Slytherin quarters, still not really sure where she was going. Every time she needed to make a decision and chose a pathway, she chose to go up. Up up and away from her problems. Yes, the astronomy tower, that's where she would go. She'd run up all three thousand five hundred and thirty two steps and fling herself dramatically over the balcony's edge. Ha. Yes. That would teach him. She wished for a second that it was possible to attend one's own funeral to see just how upset one's closest friends and family members were. 

Maybe if the sky wasn't so clear and the moon wasn't shining down so brightly like that then she wouldn't have felt so melodramatic. Maybe she might have even felt a bit guilty at romanizing her own death, but the reality of the situation was that the sky was so clear, and the moon was so full, and the air did feel so electric, so she thought only of herself and her own problems as she ran up those steps, imaging her pain reducing as she got further and further away from her own bed. In a small way, she did feel better once she reached the base of the tower. She no longer felt so suffocated by her pain. The emptiness of the castle no longer felt lonely but rather peaceful. As she climbed those last eighty six steps, she imagined that she was on some night-time adventure, and with great anticipation she heaved the astronomy tower's door open. Her chest was heaving from the exercise, and her body felt too warm to be bothered by the cool breeze blowing onto the observation deck. She momentarily surprised by the fact that there were no classes being held. Really, she was quite lucky to be so alone up there. If she had stumbled in upon a class she would be in so much trouble. No doubt the teacher would assume that she was there to cause some sort of mischief.

Taking a few moments to catch her breath, she slowly made her way further out onto the observation deck. There was already a few pillows set out, and upon these she collapsed. Up close to the pillows, she thought she could smell some sort of collogne, and for a second she worried that she might have actually interrupted someone's rendezvous and that there was a poor couple hiding in the shadows waiting for her to leave, but then she suddenly recognized the smell and sat straight up. She twisted around and tried her best to peer into the shadows, but even in the moon light she could see very little.

"...Draco?" she said softly, scared that if she were any louder she might wake up some sleeping threat. She was starting to feel a little vulnerable out on the deck alone.

Then, out of the shadows, a tall figure made an appearance. Hazel's breath caught in her throat for half a second before she recognized the platinum blonde hair shining in the moonlight.

"Bloody hell" she said to herself, collapsing back onto the cushions in relief. She let her racing heartbeat slow down, not daring to move a muscle as she listened to Draco's footsteps as he cautiously made he way to her.

"This seat taken?" he asked, his voice revealing nothing.

She peered up at him. He was standing almost directly above her, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. Was it just the moonlight, or did he have a few lingering tears in his eyes? Whatever the case, she just nodded and he sat down next her.

She continued to face the sky, but out of her peripheral vision, she could see the outline of his face next to hers. She imagined how close their hands must be, and it took everything in her to not reach and find out. Even after what he did, she wanted nothing more than to touch him in this moment. 

"Can't sleep?" said Draco.

She only hummed.

He desperately wanted to apologize to her again, but he was scared that if he acknowledged it at  all she would simply get up and leave, and so for a long time they just lay there in silence.

Eventually a passing owl pulled them out of their thoughts, and turning her head slightly towards him, she said softly, "Why'd you do it?"

Draco turned to face her and their eyes instantly locked. He wished there was a way to explain just how sorry he was. A way for their minds to connect, for them to understand each other without having to rely on the imperfectness of words. He thought that they had had that type of relationship, but now he feared that they were beyond that point. He closed his eyes briefly, swallowed his pride, and began.