Their love was a magnificent tragedy. Lessons of miscommunication, colors, and life all seep into a story of a mourning boy and a sick girl. The moon watched him cry, crying out his first love's name. This time, she had become a resemblance of that...
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thursday, january 27th, 2022.
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I yawn, waking up on Rena's couch. I had taken a week-long leave in case Rena was to have an accident. I've been cooped up in her room, keeping her company as she continues to feel pulses of pain in her lower back. She's told me they've been getting worse due to a mistake in her pills but she'd be holding up just fine. The hospital's been decorating ahead of time for Lunar New Year, so Rena's been asking me to hang up some lights in this room. Let's just say, it's quite tedious. (I almost fell off a ladder.)
I'd say right now, it's around nine am. Rena was already awake, staring up at the sun just an inch over the horizon line. I don't bother her whenever she's awake in the middle of the night, especially when I have to sleep to keep myself together. With every minute I stare at Rena, I take a picture in my head so I never forget it. I take it to remember what she looked like and what she was reminiscing. I don't want to ever lose those pictures.
I stare at the ceiling. I know she knows I'm awake, but she allows me to process our situation. The evening I met Nari and Dowoon in the lobby, I decided that if Rena were to pass, I wouldn't do what I did with Rena about Sunwoo. I'd simply... leave my heart where it lands. I don't think I deserve much of the word called "love," not after my heart was stolen by a knowledge thief. I want her to hold all my love for her with her and never give it back to me. I choose not to move on and hurt anyone by accident.
I would want to die old, holding onto Rena's love for me. I would want to wear red, not a deep red. Maybe the color of blood, or the color of the common cherries at the grocery store. Maybe I'd wear white for purity, or wear black because that's the simplicity of someone's death attire.
Or maybe I shouldn't be worrying about what I wear when I die. After all, I wish not to imply or wish for myself to perish. I would like to live past graduation, past my college graduation. I would want to live past life, with people who care about me just as much as I cared about Rena.
With Sunghoon, with Jaeyun.
With my family, which I may never see again but only in my mind.
"Are you going to sleep with your eyes open?" Rena speaks up, yawning as well. "I have your last task ready. Though, you're going to have to use your tools, because I don't have anything for you this time."
