The Darkness In Our Hearts (TDiOH Bk1)

Chapter 52: Home We Go

A/N: I'm using the English Sub to write the dialogue so it may not be similar to the English Dub.

"Do you really have to leave?" Yachiru whined.

"We went over this, Yachiru. Someone needs to look after Ichi and the others," I explained as I packed the rest of my belongings in a bag.

She sighed for the tenth time since coming into my room to 'help'.

"Under the bed, behind the blue sheet, you'll find a present," I said without turning. I heard her diving under the bed.

"Yay, candy!" That seemed to placate her for me to finish packing.

The last few days had been full on. Between getting advice and help from Unohana, avoiding fights with Kenpachi (when Unohana tells you to avoid fighting, you listen well) and having dinner with the famed Kukaku who'd helped the others into the soul society, I had little time to ponder the D-day.

Which was today. I was still packing because procrastination was the biggest waste of time and I didn't want to leave yet. I stared down at the soul reaper uniform I had folded neatly at the top. Merely for show. I hadn't even been deemed a Substitute.

I bit back tears. Even though nothing official had been reported that I was no longer a soul reaper, the fact that my only choices were leave or die spoke volumes. I shoved more clothes on top and my hairbrush before the tears started.

"They're leaving, you better get your arse into gear," Ikkaku hollered.

I slung the bag over my shoulder. "Let's go."

Yachiru nodded because her cheeks were full of candy. She ran out the door. Ikkaku met me halfway down the hall, a hand out. I palmed off my bag since he appeared to be in the mood to be a gentleman and followed quietly.

"Hang on, Kera, I uh need to ask you something," he muttered, grabbing me suddenly by the hand and dragging me into a shaded alcove.

I cocked an eyebrow. "What's this about?"

He shuffled his feet around. I had never seen Ikkaku nervous before which gave me a little cause for concern. "I really like you, Kera. And not just as a comrade, squad mate or friend."

I froze, watching the play of emotions across his face. Did he just? Dumbfounded, lost for words. Chiya would be having a field day with this news. He stepped closer and my heart thundered in my chest.

"I just had to tell you before you left, before I lost my nerve." He reached up and brushed hair behind my ear.

This couldn't be happening. Guilt riddled me. I hadn't realised his feelings for me had morphed into this. How could I make him stop telling me that he likes me so when I only see him as one of my best friends without breaking his heart?

"Ikkaku," I started, the words dying when he lowered his head. He placed a soft kiss to the edge of my mouth.

When he drew back, he held my cheek with the gentlest touch and said, "But I know."

"Know what?" I squeaked out.

"I know you could never like me like you like him." He nodded his head in the general direction of Kenpachi's quarters. "And I understand."

I stepped out of his embrace, rubbing my arms. I felt bad for not noticing sooner so I could have let him down gently.

"Does this mean we can't be friends anymore?"

The heartache in his eyes disappeared and that signature grin of his returned. "Of course we're still buds. I just had to get it off my chest before I imploded. You'll need someone to keep you updated with all the going-ons in the Soul Society while you're gone." He slung an arm over my shoulders and steered me back into the light.