The Darkness In Our Hearts (TDiOH Bk1)

Chapter 3: I FAILED?!

My stomach groaned as I looked at my breakfast, poking the banana with a finger.

Maybe I shouldn't have eaten ALL those lollies.

All night long, I suffered the effects of the sugar rush and then the insufferable cramping that followed after eating too much sugary junk food. Now my tired eyes could barely stay opened as I began to peel the banana, nibbling the end of it.

Knock, Knock, Knock.

Secretly grateful for the interruption, I untangled myself from my kneeling position and made my way to the door.

"Kera Senbonsai, a message from the Head Captain," the messenger stated when I opened the door. He was kneeling on the ground at the threshold, one hand outstretched with a letter balanced on his palm.

I crouched down before him and he stared back at me, startled.

"What's the message?" I asked curiously, tilting my head to the side.

"I- I don't know," he stuttered, shaking his hand out with the letter.

I unfolded the piece of paper, reading the fine calligraphy printed there. Each sentence was like a knife through my heart, draining me slowly of warmth. Sweat formed on my palms and under my arms and my hands shook; but I wasn't sad, I was angry. I felt like steam was pouring from my ears as the paper crumpled into a mess in my hard grip.

"I'M NOT A CERTIFIED SOUL REAPER?!" My shouting echoed in the barracks. "What the hell is going on?" I snarled in the messenger's face, grabbing him by the front of his collar.

"I-I-I," was all he could get out before I threw him to the ground.

He scrambled backwards, scared eyes trained on me, before he ran into the legs of Ikkaku and Yumichika, the rest of the squad between those two. He went pale, his lips quivering as he tried to speak.

My cries had attracted the whole squad and they had rushed to my aid immediately. Ikkaku and Yumichika glared down at the messenger, cracking their knuckles. The squad all grinned menacingly.

"Is this one troubling you, Kera?" Ikkaku asked, his voice conveying violent images of suffering and torture.

"We can dispose of this foul creature," Yumichika added in a flat voice, which made him sound extremely scary.

A part of me felt particularly happy that they were on my side as I handed them the piece of crumbled paper. Surprised, they took it and read it together, while the messenger made his escape.

"It says that I didn't actually pass my examinations to become a certified soul reaper because they muddled up the results with someone else's. Now I had to repeat and pass or I'll lose my position within Squad 11."

Ikkaku's face turned red, as if he was angry, and I was secretly happy that someone else thought that this was bull as well. But then his mouth opened and his booming laughter spilled out.

"You have to repeat? Oh wow, Kera, how badly did you fai-"

I don't let him get the rest of the sentence out. My fist goes straight into his mouth, scraping his teeth. He staggered backwards, dropping the paper and clutching his face. I snatched the paper up in embarrassment, tears springing into the corners of my eyes.

"Shut up cueball!" I bellowed, my mind thinking of nothing better to say at this very embarrassing time in my life.

Ikkaku continued to laugh with his mouth of broken teeth. Angry and embarrassed, I drew my zanpakuto. The spiritual pressure of the Captain and the Lieutenant became aware to me; they appeared at the back of the crowd.

"What's going on?" Kenpachi asked, the squad parting to let him through, but I was too ashamed to look at his face.

"Kera isn't a certified soul reaper," Yumichika answered for me, serious. He, thankfully, didn't share the same sardonic nature as his friend.

"Yeah, she failed most of the tests but they blundered up her scores and she got someone else's," Ikkaku howled.

"Shut your mouth, Ikkaku!" My voice wobbled and I took a deep breath. "I'll shove my sword through one end of you and out the other if you keep it up," I snapped. The mental hold I had on my spiritual pressure slipped slightly, revealing it to the others.

Ikkaku quickly shut his mouth.

"Kera," Kenpachi said, his own lips trying to hide his smirk as I glared at him. "You have to go and complete the tests. Now. And you must pass them if you wish to return to the Squad."

Despair and disappointment at myself left a bad taste in my mouth as I stomped past the captain, palming the piece of paper to his chest for good measure. My heart felt broken, because, to me, the letter signified that I was a disappointment to my captain. All I wanted to be was the best soul reaper that ever existed inside Squad 11 and I couldn't very well do that if I was kicked out.

Nursing my wounded pride, I stalked out of the barracks before snapping: screaming, roaring, swinging my zanpakuto around like a maniac, I made sure no one could get anywhere near me.

Stupid soul reaper tests, stupid adjudicator thingies, stupid classes, stupid Ikkaku.

I fumed and slashed all the way to the front doors of the Soul Reaper Academy, before sobering up. Shame heated my cheeks when two girls dressed in the uniform came out laughing to each other and I entered silently through the door they left swinging closed.

Students dressed in the respective white-with-blue and white-with-red uniforms stared openly at me as I headed up to the main office room, feeling as if the weight of their stares were weighing me down.

By the time I reached the doors, my feet were dragging along the ground and my chest was constricting from my laboured breathing. With a heavy heart, and multiple prayers passing my lips, I pushed open the doors.