The World is Yours | Tom Riddle

chapter xxxvii.

my darling,

you will never be unloved by me

you are too well tangled in my soul.

-unknown

Atarah.

"No." Tom sighs in frustration before explaining the method again. "You're not understanding, the practice of Occlumency is to clear your mind. You need to constantly be controlling your thoughts and emotions."

"I understand what Occlumency is but you are expecting me to learn a skill, that even the best wizards have difficulty mastering, in a couple of weeks." Both of our patience has very obviously disappeared. We have been going at this for two hours and there hasn't been any progress.

"We don't have the time and the sooner we do this, the sooner we can accomplish everything we have planned for."

"Then let's just skip this part and work on the spells."

"You don't understand do you? You wear your emotions on your face, you always have. And as enlightening as it is, it will get you killed." He shuts down my comment and I know that the only way to get this over with is to learn. "Fine." He breathes out deeply and the room is silent as he thinks.

"Let's try this. Focus on your breathing, it will help you to clear your mind." I do as he says and focus on breathing in and out. "Now try not to let your mind veer off of that." I do as he says and focus. After a minute of silence I feel him enter my mind and as he tries to take a memory from me the harder it becomes to focus on my breathing. The effort of trying to block him and also focus on one thing is proving to be very difficult.

I start to feel my control slipping when I hear him speak, "Focus on your breathing, Atarah. You can do it. Fight back." I take a deep breath in and let it out, putting all my effort into those movements. Again he tries to get a memory from me and this time I don't feel as if I am losing. I feel him leave and I bring myself back to the room. "Better." He stands up from his seat.

"I stopped you though."

"I wasn't putting all my power into it and Dumbledore will not hold back. You need rest before we try again. Tomorrow I will not hold back."

...

"Are you ready for this?" Tom and I are back in the room that we have been training in. Last night I made some progress but I fear it won't matter. He said he wasn't putting in all his effort last time and I was struggling against him then. So I can't imagine what it will be like now but I knew what I was getting into. "Yes." I force confidence into the word and mentally remind myself of why I'm doing this.

In and out. I clear my mind and focus on the same thing as last night. Not even a second later I feel the pressure of him trying to enter my mind. In and out. At once more pressure is added and my breathing falters. Which was just enough for him to take control. Images flash through my mind of random memories I have from my time at Hogwarts. He lets go and I return my focus to the room.

"You're not putting all your effort into this." I scoff at his words, annoyed at what he is saying. As if I am not trying. Before I can argue that I am trying he says,  "I want to try something."

"Try what?"

"The times you showed the most strength were when you were afraid, now I want to use that fear so that you can learn to use that strength in times where you are in control. You need to know what it feels like to be able to push someone from your mind. Will you allow me to do that?"