Request by: Seasofjupiter
TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of body dysmorphia, Transgender terminology, Hormone taking. (i'm not sure if i should call these trigger warnings but just know that Jay is trans FTM in this.)
Hiding something from a group of very nosy boys is beyond difficult. Especially when all six of them are on top of you 24/7.
Jay loved his members to death, but he had been hiding something from them for a long time. He was afraid of telling them, afraid of what they would say, how they would treat him if they knew.
Jay was born in the wrong body to put it simply. Born with female biology but a male brain. Life was beyond difficult for him, especially with his dream of becoming an idol. He hadn't seen many successful transgender K-pop idols, the concept of being transgender still very far from being accepted in Korea.
His parents were surprisingly supportive but were worried about him becoming a trainee, especially with him just starting T. despite their concerns, jay's dream was still to become a kpop idol and he was willing to do whatever it took to get there, no matter how difficult.
He had managed to sneakily take his shots for several months before anyone noticed until one afternoon where everything went horribly wrong.
Jay snuck away from the group into his bedroom to take his shot. He peeked in the hall before closing his door and taking out his testosterone and rolling up his shorts to expose his thigh.
He sat on the edge of his bed and began preparing his injection. He placed the needle in his leg and just as he began the injection, his door swung open startling him.
"hey, hyung do you want to- "it was sunoo who stopped mid-sentence as he saw what jay was doing.
"woah! Sunoo! Why didn't you knock!?" jay yelled quickly hiding his testosterone.
"hyung? Hyung what's that? What are you doing?" sunoo was worried seeing the needle in jay's hand, the small vile hidden in his pocket.
"sunoo, it's nothing, just go back with the others." Jay tried to get the younger to ignore it not wanting to have to face telling the members the truth.
"hyung...is that...heroine?" sunoo asked innocently, fear on his face.
Jay's eyes went wide, and he stood up quickly approaching sunoo.
"no sunoo of course not!"
"then...then why are you injecting yourself with that?" it was very clear that sunoo was scared and he wasn't understanding the situation like jay had hoped.
He placed his hand on sunoo's shoulder.
"please just leave it sunoo-ah, just forget you saw it okay?"
Sunoo shook his head pulling away from jay and running into the living room calling for heeseung.
Jay panicked. He ran after him hoping he hadn't said anything.
"hyung!! Hyung!!" sunoo yelled as he sprinted into the living room startling the others.
"sunoo-ah? Hey, what's wrong?" heeseung said seeing the fear on the younger's face.
"it's jay hyung...he...he's injecting himself with something..." sunoo looked like a frightened child, his eyes big and glossy.
Heeseung's eyes went wide.
"what?"
"i...I saw him...he had a needle and a.. a little bottle of something..."
Jus then. Jay entered the room already knowing that sunoo had told them.
