twelve

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Devon

Arden passes me the tequila bottle that we've been passing back and forth so I could have my turn with it. I think I'm drunk at this point since it's a giant bottle and we're right at the bottom of it.

"He pierced my nipple." I admit, staring at the tv screen blankly.

"At least it was free." She sighs, looking over at me. "Can I see it?"

My eyes roll as I hand her the tequila bottle. "My boyfriend has two kids and you're more concerned with seeing my nipple." She shrugs, taking a sip and hugging the bottle. We're quiet again, watching the tv screen but not paying one ounce of attention to the plot of whatever's on.

I know I had to end things. There was no way I could genuinely continue a relationship with Harry after he lied about something so monumental. But I'm the first to admit the last week has been devastating. I miss him more than anything, and I want to call him or text him to check in, but it's just a bad idea.

He lied, and yes he may be sorry about it, but whatever trust we had built up is gone now. I showed just how much I trusted him time and time again. Letting him tattoo me the first time, letting him into my apartment, I mean he fucking pierced my nipple for fucks sake. I was open with him and I thought he was being open with me, but he was hiding the two most important people in his life.

How could he claim he likes me, when he couldn't even trust me enough with that piece of information? Maybe he just was interested in the sex and had no intentions of bringing me home to his kids. Now I feel even more dirty.

"How did it happen?" Arden asks, looking over at me.

I haven't gone into detail about everything with her. It all happened so fast and a part of me is ashamed that I was dating a man who hid something like that from me. I know I did the right thing, but then again, how does someone handle all of this? It's just all so intense and serious now.

"Um, I went to the house, rang the bell. And his daughter opened the door. God she looked just like him... And then he came over to tell her she shouldn't have opened the door, and he was holding the other one and she just looked like a baby, Arden. They're just babies and they're so innocent in this and I know that but why am I blaming them for ruining my relationship? It wasn't their fault, it was Harry's fault." Tears fill my eyes as I drunkenly admit to all my deepest thoughts.

"Dev, it's okay to be upset about this. You guys were together for months at this point and it was a serious relationship. He lied and duped you into thinking he was someone he wasn't, and his friends let him get away with that. And I know it feels like you're blaming those girls, but you're just reacting. Your brain is telling you that if it wasn't for them, you would still be together and honestly, it's fair of you to think that. You thought he was unattached but he had responsibilities and he lied to you."

I hate crying over him. Why am I crying anyway? Because the sex was good? Because I had someone to talk to? I really did care about him, but it's not like he died or anything. He just is a dick and I knew that from the beginning but maybe I thought I could change him. I hate that I thought I was special enough for him when he obviously just saw me as an easy lay.

"But like, what now? That's just it? We're done? I don't hear from him ever again? I mean, I don't think I could trust him but like, all that time and effort we put into a relationship was just for nothing now?" I wipe my eyes, taking the tequila bottle when she hands it back to me.

As I hug the tequila bottle, she hugs me, resting her head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Dev. I know you really liked him."

Arden has control over my phone tonight so I don't drunk text or call Harry, which I know would happen because I really want to call him right now. I don't know what I would say to him, if I would be upset or admit that I miss him. Probably the miss him one though because I'm the messy drunk ex hook up queen.

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