Wildflowers |h.s|

thirty six

TW: Talks about suicide, PLEASE let me know if you need a summary, it's not graphic, but I understand if it's too much. And PLEASE know that you are not alone and there are so many resources for you out there and people who care. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255.

Devon

Walking into Fine Lines is a bit traumatizing. The last time I was here, I was left in the dark as Harry spewed all his hate in my direction. I can't lie, I'm nervous it'll end like that again today, but at least we're talking.

It was a bit rough waking up and not remembering much of what happened at the party. All I saw were texts from everyone saying it was a great party and they were sorry they didn't see me to say goodbye. Slowly the night started coming back in bits and pieces. Especially when I saw Alex's texts apologizing.

I just remember making out with Alex, wasted beyond belief and trying to drown out the pain of not hearing from Harry. Then he started leading us toward the bathrooms and I was trying to get him to stop because I wasn't ready to have sex with him, but he just wouldn't stop. Maybe it was just a drunken illusion, but it felt like forever until he finally got off and I was able to get away from him.

I didn't remember calling Harry until I saw Arden's text asking if I was okay and if Harry got me home safely. Then everything came back. Seeing him again, having him carry me out to the car and up to the apartment, letting him gently take off my makeup. Kissing him. Telling him I love him.

Hearing him say it back.

As soon as I remembered all of that, I texted him, thanking him for bringing me home safely and making sure I was okay. We ended up talking for the rest of the day just about the girls mostly and how they've been, and we agreed to meet at the shop so we could talk in a public, but also private setting.

He sent me flowers, a beautiful bouquet with a note that read "Happy birthday, Pretty Girl. I missed you. -H." It's kind of embarrassing how happy it made me to get a new bouquet of flowers from him. I haven't had fresh flowers in the apartment since the last bouquet he made me in early December. My apartment was missing that.

Funnily enough, we agreed to meet on the one year anniversary of our first date. Maybe it's some sort of fateful thing that we keep meeting with each other at this time of the year. I hope it's a good thing.

I've asked a lot of people if this is a good idea, because I don't want to go through the pain of losing him again, but even my mom said to hear him out before I decide something like that. It's just meeting to talk about our break up for the first time, it's not a date.

Alex has been apologetic, and I get that he was drunk, but I was too and no means no. There's no excuse for what he did and I just can't see myself in a relationship with someone like that. Even if things with Harry stay the same, or we agree to just be friends for the girls' sake, at least I know that he's never pressured me into doing anything. Plus, I never really saw Alex and I going anywhere special.

When I walk into Fine Lines, it's like everyone's seen a ghost. Corrine's eyes widen and her jaw drops slightly, definitely not expecting me to walk in. Her hair is blue now, but it still looks amazing on her. "Devon... W-What are you...?"

Shyly, I cross my arms over my chest, biting my lip, "I'm just meeting with Harry... Gonna talk about some stuff..." She nods, and I could just tell that she's seen some sort of security footage of our fight. I'm sure most of the employees have seen it by now, and I'm sure I look pathetic in it.

Mitch looks over too, offering me a kind smile and a small wave. I nod over at him, and do the same to the other tattoo artists who I've gotten to know while Harry and I were together as I walk through the shop to get to the office. With a deep breath, I knock on the door, feeling awkward about just walking in.