Wildflowers |h.s|

thirty three

Devon

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to take the freshly broken up with sad girl to a club to celebrate the new year. Because those types of girls become really messy drunks.

I'll admit, I've always been a messy drunk, but add devastating heartbreak and you've got a nasty combination there. Destructive. Catastrophic.

Five shots, and three vodka sodas in, and I'm just getting started. Arden's staying sober, opting only for a glass of champagne when it's time to ring in the new year, but I started drinking in the day. Anything to forget how I spent my year with a man who didn't even want a future with me.

I put on my sluttiest dress, did my makeup and hair, and just did my best to look good and be confident. I feel like shit and my confidence is gone, but I mean, fake it til you make it right? Arden's supportive, and she'd tell me if I was taking it too far.

There's about an hour until the ball drops, but I'm honestly ready to go home. It's hard getting in a party headspace when all I could think of is Harry and the girls. We were supposed to spend the new year together and the girls were so excited to have the poppers and stay up really late. I know they wouldn't have made it to midnight, but we told them they could stay up till then. Harry was supposed to be my new year's kiss. The girls too. And now we're not together anymore.

Mitch let me know that he spoke to the girls. He also found the jewelry box and smuggled it back to Annika, which I'm relieved about. Harry had no right to take that away from her when it was clear she was so appreciative of it. She just wants something to remember her mother by.

I think the saddest part about all of this is that my new year's resolution is to leave this all in this year. I'm going into the new year pushing Harry from my mind. He doesn't want me anymore. Maybe he just said he loved me to get me to shut up. Maybe he thought he was talking to Jamie. Whatever it was, this is clearly over and I have to move on at some point. It won't be easy, but I have to try.

Maybe I'll start looking into tattoo removal for the whole butt tattoo thing. I need to start somewhere.

Going back up to the bar, I tell the bartender to give me another vodka soda. It's an open bar and I'm not putting that to waste at all. Leaning against the counter, I just find myself thinking about him all over again, and I want him out of my brain. He needs to just exit immediately.

"Yeah, are you going too?" Some girls next to me seem to be deep in a conversation, so I decide to eavesdrop. Anything to keep my mind busy.

"Yep, we're leaving in like twenty. It starts at midnight so we want to be there right on time. I heard there are gonna be a lot of people."

My brows furrow, but I continue to listen mindlessly. The bartender puts my drink down on the counter and I take a sip right away, glancing over at these girls. They're the typical tall, blonde, skinny type.

"I've never done this before, but I've heard it's life changing." One of them giggles, taking a sip from her drink.

"Oh, it's been a while since there's been one, but you are going to like lose your mind at how amazing this is. Hopefully he keeps it up through the year."

Okay, the curious nature in me can't hold back any longer, plus I'm wasted beyond belief and I'd love to go to another party after this if it means more drinks. "Um, hi, sorry don't mean to intrude on the convo, but what are we talking about?" I smile, trying not to seem super wasted.

One of the girls grins over at me, "Oh, well, not to make you uncomfortable or anything, but there's this guy who's having a bunch of girls over to this place he's renting for like, you know some new year's fun. It's open invite, maybe you've heard of him, Harry Styles?"