Rick And Morty X Reader

Big Trouble in Little Sanchez

"What's new at school?" Jerry asked. "Nothing." Summer said. "Nothing." You said. "Oh, uh, one of the lunch ladies died. They found her in the gym with, like, two holes in her neck and all the blood drained out of her." Morty said. "Morty!" You shouted. "What? At least I'm being honest here." He said. "Good lord! Who does something like that?" Beth asked. "Obviously a vampire. W-w-where's the pepper?" Rick asked. "Wait, what?! Vampires are real?!" Summer asked. "Yes, Summer, vampires are real. Who knew? Oh, right, all humanity, for hundreds of years, now." Rick said. "Yeah, Summer, it's a big universe. Get used to it. R-right, Rick?" Morty asked. You rolled your eyes. "Well, what are we going to do?!" Summer asked. "We're gonna live our lives until we die. Possibly by vampire. More likely auto accident or heart disease, but possibly vampire." Rick said. "Grandpa Rick, couldn't you, like, use your superknowledge to turn yourself into a teenager and come to our school and help us hunt the vampire down?" Summer asked. Your eyes widened and you looked at her in surprise. "Um -- wow." You said.

"Yeah, pretty specific pitch, Summer. I probably could turn myself into a teenager and hang out in the zit-covered, hormone-addled, low-stakes assworld that is high school.But here's my reverse-ask -- why in the fuck would I ever do that, ever? And how dare you even ask me that? And why aren't you more ashamed of yourself?" Rick asked. "Dad?" Summer asked. "Be ashamed of yourself, sweetie." Jerry said. "Jerry! Do you know what you just said to our daughter?" Beth asked. "Sor-ry! I wasn't paying attention." Jerry said. "To a conversation about vampires?!" Beth asked. "Clearly, I didn't know it was about vampires, because I wasn't paying attention, which you would know, if you ever paid attention to me!" Jerry shouted. "Oh, here we go, right to the victim role." Beth said. "Am I a victim, Beth, or am I married to a mean, unfair monster that always hurts me?!" Jerry asked. Rick stands up. "Jesus Christ! Will you fix your marriage or get a divorce already?" He shouted. "Rick!" You shouted. Rick glares at you. "What?! I'm tired of them constantly fighting like this, (Y/n)! And I'm sure you are too!" He shouted. "Well, we tried a couples' therapist." Jerry said.

"That's earth therapy. You might as well ask a horse to fix a merry-go-round. I mean, he'll try his best, but mostly, he's just gonna get horrified. I know about a place off-planet with a 100% success rate." Rick suggested. "Well, we want to make it work, if we can." Beth said. "It's just --" "then it's settled. No need to pack. Let's go, go, go, go!" Rick shoves them away. "Do you two think mom and dad are, you know, gonna get a divorce?" Morty asked. "I think it's okay to dream, Morty. I'm gonna go make some wooden stakes." Summer walks away. "Don't listen to her, Morty. I'm sure everything will be fine." You said, placing a hand on his right shoulder.

Time Skip

"Any leads on the vampire?" Summer asked as she approaches you and Morty by the lockers. "Nope." You said, as you closed your locker. "No, Summer! I mean, you know, I think it might be time that we just l-let it go." Morty said. "Oh, so, now, you're too cool for this, just because grandpa Rick is?" Summer asked. "It's not that, it's just that the universe is a little too big to care about something so small." Morty closes his locker, then the three of you see Rick a lot smaller than he normally was. You shrieked, and stepped back. "What up, my helsings? Who wants to hunt a vampire? Ha ha ha!" Rick said. "What the hell?!" You asked. "Rick? How -- how did you --" Morty tried to ask. "Yeah, I got bored and then, I remembered, this morning, how I blew Summer off, and I thought, "hey, why are you such a grumpy douche, Rick? Go to the garage, transfer your mind into a younger clone of yourself, and get embroiled in some youthful hijinks, what's the bfd?" So here I am. I'm tiny Rick!" Rick said. "O-o-okay. Well, it's good you're here, Rick." You smiled at him. "Yeah. I was pretty sure we didn't have what it takes to deal with a bloodsucker on our own." Summer said.

"Don't short-sell yourself, Summer. You got everything it takes. But it'll still be fun to do this as a fucking team." Rick said. You smile and put your hand on top of Morty's after he puts his on top of Rick's, Summer follows last. "Mother fucking tiny Rick!" Rick shouted. "Yeah! Oh, my God, Toby Matthews!" Summer panicked as he walks down the hall. You roll your eyes. "Hey, Toby. I'm tiny Rick. I'm new. Hey oh -- go easy on me. Ha ha. Just kiddin'." Rick said. "I like your straightforward style and that lab coat's pretty cool. Summer." Toby walks away. "He knows my name!" She said. "Why wouldn't he? You're great! But, listen, just be careful. We can't rule anybody out as the vampire, not even the dreamboats." Rick said the last part jokingly. You raised an eyebrow. "Stop, tiny Rick." Summer said. "Huntin' a vampire with my grandkids!" Rick shouted. 'Rick wasn't normally this nice... ever.' "Tiny ri-I-ck!"