Rick And Morty X Reader

One Crew over the Crewcoo's Morty

"Rick, I-I'm not rated to climb something this sheer." Morty said as you and your twin brother Morty were climbing a mountain as Rick sat in a floating chair and watched. "Look, you're the guy that wanted an epic adventure. I'm the guy with only one hover chair." Rick said. "Ouch! Goddammit, an alien spider just bit my finger!" You shouted. "It's an alien cliff. You can just say spider." Rick said. You gasp as you lost your grip and fell. "(Y/N)!" Morty shouted. Rick swiftly caught you from falling down. "You couldn't do that an hour ago?" Morty asked. "I was eating, and you're dirty. Activate anti-booby suits." Rick said as the three of you entered a tomb. Once you entered several booby traps aimed toward you, but did no damage thanks to the suits. "Total waste of snakes." Rick said as you three passed a vent with falling snakes. "If you want to take a beat to acknowledge the sacred atmosphere, it could give the cynical grave robbing a hint of irreverence." Rick said. "No, I'm -- I'm good." Morty said. "All right, then. Let's loop this corpse." Rick said as he opens the tomb and searches around. "Hey, where's the... Wait, what?" Rick asked. "Is that an origami horse?" You asked curiously as Rick picks it up.

"It's a calling card from Miles Knightley, a heist artist, AKA a hipster dick whose adventures are 60% putting a crew together and 40% revealing that the robbery already happened and he's not worth our time because he's a hack piece of shit fuck! I'm gonna kill him! Let's go, Morty. This temple's for fuckin lame baby dipshits." Rick said angrily as the three of you left. "This dork He has a [burps] convention now? Come on What are we doing?" Rick asked as the three of you enter a place called heist con. "Huh! Tuxedo scuba lessons? Ooh! A signing with Catherines Alpha through Omega Joneses! You know, this is great source material for this heist movie that I'm writing." Morty said as he picked up a magazine. "Don't get drawn into the culture, Morty. Stealing stuff is about the stuff, not the stealing. Where is the entrance? Oh, brother. More like Trying Too Hard Con." Rick said, and you snickered.

"Guests or professionals?" The alien at the desk asked. "Guests." You said. "Uh-- Uh, guests are fans (Y/n), which we are not. We'd like professional badges." Rick said. "Do you have a crew?" She asked. "Yes. He's a getaway driver with Asperger's, and she's a con artist, and my butthole is a demolitions expert. How much is it to get in?" Rick asked. "If you want professional badges, you need to put a crew together." She said. "Or we could sneak in like professionals." Rick said. "Can't wait." Rick opened a portal and tried to sneak the two of you in, only for both of you to get electrocuted. "Whoa!" You and Morty shouted. "Oh, for God's sake. And you wonder why we aren't fans." Rick said as he grabs the two of you and walks away.

Time Skip

"Let that ointment sit for 10 minutes or you'll die. Don't let it sit for 12 or I'll have to hunt down what you become." Rick said. "What's that supposed to mean?" You asked. "You don't wanna know." Rick said. "Can't you just buy a guest badge?" Morty asked. "Fuck you for asking, Morty. That would be a symbolic expression of support for this genre." Rick said. "Then how do we get in?" You asked. "With a little help from some old friends." You, Rick and Morty walk into a bar and meet an old friend of Rick's. "Rick Sanchez, you son of a bitch!" Glar said. "Need some people for a thing, Glar." Rick said. "My name's Gleer these days. I play piano." He said. "Hey, Gleer. Play your piano." The bartender said. "I quit! Augh!" He throws the piano at the bar and crashes it. "And the name's Glar!" Glar said. Rick and Glar then do some kind of handshake. Then you three meet another old friend of his. "Sanchez, you son of a bitch." She said. "Never thought I'd see Angie Flint picking ticks off a pig." Rick said. "Nobody's hiring an ex-con. With fake hands to build an ion engine." She said as she spread her hands out. "Whoa." You said. "Suppose I had a job that didn't care if you'd done time or whatever's going on with your confusing-ass hands." Rick said. "I'm in."

Time Skip

"Is this the guy?" Morty asked as the three of you were watching a car race. "No." Rick said. "That the guy?" Morty asked as another driver went past. "Nope." Rick said. "Him?" Morty asked, as a giant car crashed. "No. No, wait. Y-Yes. Yeah, of course that's the guy. Hey Hey, Truckula!" Rick greeted. "You son of a bitch! I'm in!" He shouted. Rick gets enough members for a crew and the six of you were able to walk in. "Thanks for doing this, guys." Rick said. "What's the job?" Angie asked. "That was it. Bye." Rick said. "And then, the paintings. because the police were us in police outfits." Miles said as he was on stage. The crowd cheers. "Thank you!" He said. You, Rick and Morty walk into the room. "It's showtime, guys, and I don't mean a bad impression of HBO. I mean, "Time for a show." Rick said. "Another heist question from a fan?" Miles asked. "Uh, how about a rhetorical one from someone that had to be reminded that you exist?" Rick asked. "Hey, pal! That's not the question line!" Security said. He runs toward Rick to attack him but he walks through him. "Lab coat Ripoff Dr. Strange." He said. "Rick Sanchez, everyone Smartest man in the universe: And a savage critic of the heisting arts." Miles said. You glared at him. The crowd starts booing.