Rick And Morty X Reader

Rattlestar Ricklactica

You and Morty were watching Jerry hang up Christmas lights. "Morty, (Y/n), be sure to pee before we go. This adventure is gonna be a long haul, and I don't feel like emptying the jug. Jerry, will you please just let me automate this fucking task?" Rick asked. "I didn't ask for anyone's help. You three are welcome to leave." Jerry said. "Mom told us she wanted us to stay here to make sure you didn't die." Morty said. "Well, you tell your mother that I'm gonna be fine." Jerry said. "Don't train your children to lie, Jerry, even though, you know, tis the season." Rick said. "Then I'll tell her. Whoa!" Jerry fell off the ladder, but Rick catches him with a ray and zaps him. "I told you no more rays. What ray did you zap me with?" Jerry asked. "I made your atomic matrix slightly lighter than air, and now your shoes are heavier than air, which makes you neutrally buoyant. which I find personally more impressive conceptually, than walking on water, but what do I know? I wasn't born into the god business. I fucking earned it." Rick said as Jerry begins to bounce around. "Whoa! Just to be clear, this doesn't mean you helped me." Jerry said. "Sure dad." You said sarcastically. "It wears off in 10 hours, and the next hit will cost you 30 bucks." Rick said. "Like I'll even be using it in 10 hours." Jerry said as the three of you left. "Siri, set a 9-hour and 50-minute timer." Jerry said. "Playing The Beatles." Siri said.

Time Skip

"I need to pee." Morty said. "Morty, you should have gone before leaving like Rick said." You scolded. "I didn't have to go then, (Y/n)!" Morty shouted. "Here, I've got a centipede you can swallow. that makes you not have to go." Rick said as he gave him something. "I ain't swallowing no centipede." Morty refused. "What, you think the centipede wants to eat your pee? You're not the victim in this transaction." Suddenly you felt a big bump. "Uh-oh, flat tire." Rick said. "How the hell do you get a flat tire in space, Rick?" You asked. "Obviously from a sharp thing in space, (Y/n)." Rick said. "It's just crazy how much it feels like getting a regular flat." Morty said. "Oh. no, no, that's just my custom-programmed, fully immersive flat-tire indication experience. I can turn it off I thought it was cooler than the celebrity voice package, but here." Rick switched it. "Flat tirel you should be...walkin." Christopher Walken said. "Yikes." You said. "Yeah." Rick said. "Can we come out with you, Rick?" Morty asked. "No, I've seen this movie. Two guys leave th[burps]e ship, One guy goes spinning away. You're both staying in here where it's safe." Rick quickly put on a spacesuit and opens the door. You quickly pull Morty back from the grip of space before Rick closes the door.

"Morty what are you doing? Rick told us to stay here." You said as Morty got into a spacesuit. "Come on (Y/n), we never get to go out there." He flies out, and you sigh and put a spacesuit on too before following him. "Guys, goddamn it." Rick scolded. "See, Morty? We should just go back in." You said. "Come on. I-I never get to be out here." He argued. "Ugh, you young people think space is like "Saturday Night Live." You see it every day, so you dream of being in it, but it dreams of removing all the air from your body and making you float around it for eternity as a flash-mummified corpse, which is also what space wants, so get back in the car." Rick demanded. "We're not in danger. There's nothing out here." Morty protested. "Literally everything is out here, and unlike everywhere else, I'm too busy to help you." Rick said. "Right, because you're always so helpful." Morty said sarcastically. You saw a snake slowly approaching Morty. "Morty, look out!" You shouted. You quickly shoved him out of the way. "Ah! What the-" his eyes widened when he saw the snake attacking you. "Hey! Get off! Get off you little-" Morty got out a frying pan and knocked the snake off your leg. "God damn it." Rick said. "What is that?" Morty asked. "Obviously, it's a space snake." Rick said. "T-There's snakes in space?" You asked. "There's literally everything in space, (Y/n)! Now get the fuck back in the car, both of you!" Rick shouted. "I'm dying, guys. I can see the black mountain." You said. "Oh, Jesus, (Y/n)!" Morty panicked. "People who are really dying don't keep bringing it up." Rick said. "Is that true?" Morty asked. "I don't know. I'm just usually around people that die faster" Rick said. You groaned. "Rick, help her!" Morty shouted. "All right. All right. J-Just let me analyze. the snake's planet, ¡so I can whip up an antivenom. Computer, you might want to put a rush on this! Morty's starting to look like a '90s Japanese ghost." Rick said. Morty growled angrily at him. "Cutting corners." The computer said. "Oof; oh, my God, these snakes are a mess. 19 billion snakes divided into 10.000 nations all on the brink of global war over... " Rick laughs and Morty glares at him.