~Calum
The moment I walked on stage, I was surprised to see Paige in her usual spot in front of me, standing in front of the barricade.
A part of me thought that she wouldn't watch us tonight and either go back to the hotel or stay in the lounge area. But the other part of me knows that she is only watching because she has a job to do, and thats taking pictures.
If she was a girlfriend or friend casually joining us for tour, she would have been no where in sight without a doubt.
I know this whole situation is my fault, and despite the fact that she didn't blow up at me with anger, I know that on the inside she is fuming.
I can't blame her. I feel shitty for what I did. So much so that I can hardly focus on this performance. Every time I have my solo come up in a song, I let the fans take over for most of it. I am just not up to this at all right now.
The boys have no idea about the situation that happened outside with Paige and I. They aren't even aware that I still smoke.
I'm glad they don't suspect a thing. I've become a pro at putting on a facade. Most people deem me as the mysterious type. A person who only shows who they truly are with a select few people, and they would be correct.
When the show ended and we said our goodbyes to the fans, I took one last look in front of the barricade and saw that Vanessa and Paige had already left.
I wanted to believe that they were backstage waiting for us, but I knew that was a long shot. Paige is the type of person who likes to handle her emotions in private. She's like me in so many ways.
One of them being that we don't like to make it anyone else's business when something is on our minds. Angry or sad, we handle those emotions privately.
"Where'd Vanessa go?" Luke asks as we enter the lounge area. Guilt races through me since I know the reason his girlfriend isn't here because of me.
This is the first show of the tour that Vanessa got to watch of us and I knew he was excited to see his girlfriend waiting for him backstage.
"She texted me saying they needed to head back to the hotel," Michael says. "Something about Paige getting her period." He shrugs informing the disappointed lead singer.
My three band mates believe Vanessa's text, but I don't. I know the real reason why she left was to get back to the hotel room and be far away from me.
"Do we party tonight or get drinks?" Ashton asks changing the subject. The four of us almost always make plans after a show if we aren't too exhausted after.
"I say we party tonight!" Michael exclaims always up for a party. "We should celebrate our first show in Australia."
"You know what guys, I'm just gonna head back to the hotel." I say pretending to be exhausted when in fact I am more than awake.
"You alright Cal?" Ashton asks.
"Yeah I'm fine, just feeling a headache coming on." I say rubbing the back of my neck with my hand, relieving the tight muscles. "You guys go on without me."
"We don't have to," Luke stops me. "Let's just go out another night." He suggests so sure that it doesn't feel right if one of us doesn't go out with the group.
"Its really alright, go have fun." They look at me unsure of what they wanna do, so without thinking I say the one thing I know will convince them to just go. "Paige might want someone to sit with her. Cramps or something?" I say cringing, feeling weird talking about the menstrual cycle when I know nothing about it.
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Ghost Of You | cth
Fanfiction"Promise me you'll be fine?" She said as the two of held onto each other's hands for dear life. "I'll be just fine." I said kissing her hand and reassured her through my tears.
