chapter 42

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Lisa POV

I stopped near the big tree where my grandma's house is located. Before i step out from my car, i tried to calm myself first. And those puffy eyes,i can't get rid of it.

"Eummoni.." i called grandma while knocking on her door. I called her three times before she opened the door for me.

"Ohh.. lili, what brings you here?" She asked then gave me a hug. I just need a warm embrace right now to get rid of this stupid feelings of mine.

"Let's go inside" she pulled me softly inside the house that made me smile a bit.

I should smile so she won't notice this side of me. Yeah that's right. Act cheerful and happy. That's the only way i can do. Cover up what's inside.. cover up the pain that i feel right now.

"Eummoni, how have you been? I heared that you skipped one of your medications" i told her what mom told me days after they left.

"It's just one lili and look, there's no side effect" she reasoned out like a kid.

"Still, you should not do it eummoni because it's important. You can skip it if our doctor told you" i scold her in a soft way. She just smiled at me then caressed my hair.

"Lili, i'm totally fine. Hanna is taking good care of me. And, i will still attend at your future wedding, i'll walk you down the aisle with your mom and dad and i want to see your future child too" she said while smiling brightly at me. I didn't even notice that i was already tearing up.

"Yahhh.. lili, how's your boyfriend? Is he doing good?" She suddenly brought up taehyung in this topic.

I took a deep breath and smile. "He's doing great eummoni, actually he wanted to come but i told him not to because he still have schoolworks to do" i wiped my tears while smiling. I just lied to one of the precious person that i have.

"Ohh... that man is really good for you. He's kind and also handsome. You should take him here too when he's not busy" eummoni said while smiling at me.

"Of course, i'll tell him about that" i smiled back while trying to stop my tears to fall.

"By the way, i called your unnie, i also saw aili already. She told me your anniversary with taehyung will be tommorow, what's your plan?" She asked. I don't know what to say. If only you knew everything eummoni...

I feel like there's a lump on my throat that won't let me speak. It hurts so bad..

"It will be a just a get together party eummoni, it will be just me, taehyung and our friends" i smiled and wiped my tears.

"Why are you crying? You should be happy.." eummoni wiped my tears then smiled a bit to me.

"Did you eat already? Hanna-yah are you don-" i cutted her off and smiled.

"I already ate eummoni, i just visit you to check if you're okay, and i think you are."

"Are you sure hanna coo-" i cutted her off again and gave her an assurance smile.

"I should get going eummoni, i still have something to do" i took my bag and hug her before i stand up.

She walked me to the door so she could close it.

"Byeee!" I looked at her with a smile on my face. Before i could left, she hold my hand.

"Lili, if you have problem don't be afraid to show it. Don't be too hard on yourself. Ask for help if you need. Remember we are always here for you" she said while hugging me, like she knew everything. And again a tear just fall on my cheeks.

"You should go now, take care" eummoni broke the hug and wave her hands for goodbye. I also waved my hand before she closed the door.

When i get in the car, i started crying like hell. I don't know how to express the pain that i'm suffering right now. All i could do is to cry silently, to cry without them. I know that they are here to comfort me but there's a thing inside me that don't want to tell them because it may affect them too. So it's better to suffer alone, so they won't worry and think of me. They have their own problems too and i don't want to be one of them.

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